Peace Like A River

So here I am, just about 6 weeks pregnant and I have enter this fabulous world of "wow, I have REALLY gotta GO!!!!" It's a fascinating new world learning to "go" before I really HAVE to, thus eliminating the need to run as fast as I can for the nearest Ladies Room. My first Sunday at church yesterday taught me this brand new lesson. When Sunday School is finished at 10:45, I need to use the Ladies Room even if I don't really have to. If I don't I will inevitably have to charge out in the middle of the service like I had to yesterday! This is something that I do not like to do. I have also learned that there is no such thing as "holding it" for any length of time longer than, oh, say about 5 minutes! So there I was squirming in my pew crossing and uncrossing my legs not wanting to get up and disrupt the whole church because, come on, we ALL look at the people who get up during services. You can't NOT see them, it's very distracting. Hence the reason I always stay seated. So as I squirm around Jimmy asks me what's wrong and I whisper that I need to go. So he tells me to "just go". Easier said then done for a girl that was taught to sit still and pay attention during sermons. Finally, I could take it no longer and I hopped up from my seat so certain that EVERY eye was on me and they were all thinking, "there goes the pregnant lady, off to pee!" EMBARRASSING!!....

I made it to the ladies room in time and it felt soooooooooooooo good!!

So I return to my seat and settle in for the last 20 min of the sermon and lo and behold, here comes that wonderful urge again! OK, I can SOOOOO hold it this time. YES, Pastor is closing in prayer!! OK, pray FASTER!!...OK, now we're gonna sing our last song...Peace Like A River?? You've GOT to be kidding me!!! OK, I can survive, we only ever sing ONE verse of the last song anyway...wait! What did Steve Murphy just say? All THREE VERSES??? Now I'm singing about Peace like a RIVER, love like an OCEAN and joy like a FOUNTAIN!!!! At this point I know I will not make it to the downstairs ladies room, my only hope is to bolt to the FRONT of the church, charge through the conference room and use the single bathroom in the back. OK, the song is ending, relief is in sight...Why is Pastor coming back UP the aisle?? Oh great, another announcement...OK, Hurry Steve, close in prayer. Pastor FINALLY stops talking and I begin to run out of my pew and Steve is TALKING, NOT PRAYING! I stop dead in my tracks halfway out of my pew and cross my legs and bend over, praying that he prays soon!!! FINALLY, he bows his head and before the first sentence of his prayer is complete I am through the conference door and well on my way to that fabulous closet of a bathroom in the back! Thank you LORD, I made it in time!!

It's pretty funny now that I wrote about it! haha! Oh, Peep, I love you so much already and I hope one day you read this and laugh at your silly Mommy!! <3