I totally have to share something that I couldn't today at our Ladies Bible Study (because I would've cried) about how sometimes GOD takes our willfulness and puts a blessing inside of it that we may not see until many years down the road...
When I was about to marry it was MY will and MY plan to have children right away. I had two countdowns going. One was the number of days until my wedding day and the other was one day longer and it was the day I would conceive. I was that SURE and that DETERMINED! I never once stopped to ask the LORD if it was HIS will that I even HAVE children...
It was so well known that this was MY plan that the running joke at my bridal shower was, "see you at the baby shower in 8 months!"...My Mom even gave me a bridal shower gift that was a baby bag consisting of bibs, little socks and some sippie cups. (When I didn't conceive I tucked the bag away, forgotten in the attic...)
After years of trying and many tears, I finally surrendered and asked for GOD's will to be done. I stopped focusing so much on WHEN and IF it would happen, and focused more on surrendering my will to His good purpose... Then came that day, this past April, when I was COMPLETELY shocked to discover Anya was on the way! (YAY!)
Fast forward to last Friday: I was cleaning the attic and out of a plastic tub I pulled a bag. I knew right away what it was and as I unzipped it I looked inside and pulled out a pink bib that read , "I Love Daddy"...It was the baby bag of gifts from my Mom!
My Mom, who will never attend my baby shower. Anya has gifts from her Grammie!! Her Grammie, that if she had lived, would be head-over-heels excited to be meeting her granddaughter in a few months!
GOD took the impatience and willfulness of my stubborn heart and planted inside of it a blessing for my daughter who would not arrive for more than FIVE YEARS from that time!! Even though it does not justify my willful heart, I know that my Loving Father led my mother (who undoubtedly thought she would live to see her grandchildren) to purchase those baby gifts for me because she wouldn't be here to do so for my baby shower...
I serve an AWESOME GOD!! He loves me so very, very much!!!!
