It's A Wonderful Life II

The following is a diary entry from December 5, 2007. This is one of my favorites!!! Enjoy, and perhaps take a moment to thank our Awesome LORD for what He has blessed YOU with!

People, People People!!!! Listen up! I had the most AMAZING dream last week and I MUST tell you all about it! I even have a title for it so read on.....



It's a Wonderful Life II

Before I begin let me set the mood. Lately Jimmy and I have been discussing our finances and although we trust that the Lord will always provide for us, I've been struggling with guilt. My guilt is that I never went to college. You see, it was my dream to go to college and become a chiropractor. My mama and daddy used to struggle with back pain and neck pain (hehehe have you met my siblings? you'd have a pain in the neck if you did hehehe). OK back to seriousness, I used to tell them that after I went to college I would treat them for free and always take care of them. Well, I never went. I put it off and went to work to help support the family. Now I'm not being a martyr here, I'm glad I went to work and I was very happy to help support everything. Besides now that I think back, I'm glad I stuck around for all those years. Why, if I had gone off to college I would have missed those precious years of Beans Family Fun with my mama and daddy still here on earth! But even yet, when you are struggling with money it's so easy to play the What-if-I-had game.
So, there I was fixing a set budget with my husband, wishing with all my might that I had a large paycheck coming in and if only I had gone to college, shortly after that we turned the lights off and went to sleep..........

My dream ,from what I remember of it, started with the fact that I had somehow invented a way to travel back in time. All I had to do was simply watch a home video and I would be instantly transported back to the time when that video was taken. I chose a video from when I was 12 years old. (Understand that the video and the circumstances of the video does not exist,it was simply one made up in my dream, however my 12 year old self, did look EXACTLY like I did at that very age)
My present-self now stood in front of past-Tabernacle Baptist Church. I had been transported back to see a Pioneer Girl play. (Those of you that know me, know that it would have been OBB Church, not TBC) I quickly pulled the collar of my coat up so that I would not be recognized by anyone and slipped into the church. I saw Pastor Johnson, who would NOT have been there 16 years ago, looking young and dapper! hehehehe The pews were gone and the seats were as movie theater seats and rows. The only seat I could find was right in the front row. I took a seat and the program began. My eyes scanned the choir of young girls till I saw my past-self in the back row. Should have known to look there, at 12 years old I was about 3 inches TALLER than most girls AND boys my age! I smiled and put my hand over my mouth in awe as I watched my past-self laugh and sing! I exclaimed what a fat nerd I used to be and quickly clamped my mouth shut hoping no one had heard. When Act I ended the girls came down the front of the platform to take a break till Act II and my past-self walked past my present-self. (Stay with me here,people lol) My past-self glanced and walked back in front of my present-self and said "WOW! you look familiar!!" My present-self stood up laughing and said "Hi it's me! I'm from the future, I invented a time machine and I came to see you" (No, I have not seen Back to the Future in about 2 years) My past-self thought that was awesome. My present-self then told her that she needed to go to college to become a chiropractor because she was going to need that money in the future because she was going to struggle if not. My past-self agreed to then hugged my present-self and excused herself to go do Act II. My present self reached out and grasped her one more time and said." One more thing, mom and dad are going to die, so love them and hug them as much as you can" My past-self placed a hand on her hip and said sarcastically," Gee, Way to make me feel good, April!" hehehehehhehehe lol I LOVE that part!! I was a smart mouth to MYSELF!!! You can't beat that! My past-self walked away and my present-self walked out of the church.

Instantly I was transported back to the present, and was driving my car home. (I don't know where I was, but anyway) As I was driving I looked down and my legs became slim, I was suddenly wearing pin strip pants and stiletto heels. With one hand on the wheel, I felt my stomach under my business suit top, and it was flat and rock hard. I watched in utter disbelief as my car was transformed into a shiny red Corvette. The car tires squealed as I screeched to a halt on the side of the road and fumbled out of the car. There I stood, towering over 6 foot with my sexy heels and perfectly tailored business suit!!!! Somehow a Chic pea coat appeared with pricey leather driving gloves. I ran my fingers through my fancy haircut. Yes, my hair was to my chin, I didn't seem to mind, since it framed my thin face very nicely. I started jumping up and down.in the stiletto heels and didn't break my ankles! (now we know this is a dream lol!!) I was so happy I just kept yelling, " YES, OH YES, I LISTENED TO MYSELF!!!!"

I had become a successful chiropractor and along with it came a "perfect" size 4 body, and expensive material things. I jumped back into my flashy car and zoomed home to tell Jimmy that we didn't need to worry about money any longer. I pulled up and raced into the house but my room was just the way mom and dad left it when they died. I figured HELLO! I have a great job of course Jimmy and I aren't living with my sister. But, then it hit me....I fell to the ground on my knees, gasping for air....."NO, NO ,NO, NO,NO,NO, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" my breathing was dangerously heavy as it dawned on me....I went to college, I never went to Target as a second job.....I NEVER met Jimmy!!!!!!! There I was, in expensive clothes, with an expensive car, and a loaded bank account, but no Jimmy......

I woke up in a heaving sob and sat straight up. I was covered in a cold sweat and I desperately grabbed at Jimmy's side of the bed for him. He had already left for work so I scrambled across and shoved my face into his pillow and inhaled his scent. As my breathing calmed I thanked Jesus over and over again for my Jimmy. With tears I realized that I could have the world, and every material wish, but if I had never met Jimmy, I would have lost more than I could ever hope to gain.

I love my husband more than fancy clothes,or cars or anything else that this world can offer me and I'm thankful to the Lord for not always giving me what I think I need. He loves me enough to give me what makes this life worth living. I love Jesus and I love Jimmy, everything else is just a side salad!!

...but why did it have to come so soon?

This was the phrase uttered in the Disney movie Sleeping Beauty. The three fairies were nearing the completion their task of hiding Princess Aurora for 16 years. They had volunteered to raise the princess in hiding to shield her from the evil plots of the enemy and now their job was winding to an end. The eldest fairy proclaims "We all knew this day had to come." and the youngest replies, "But why did it have to come so soon?

I'm feeling that way today. Though my task has been far from that of hiding her in a cottage in the woods! My very special girl/friend/neighbor/babysitee, Kristen Hubler, is leaving for college in nearly 4 days. This coming Thursday she will cram her belongings into the trunk and backseat of a car and drive off. Down the road. The ending of a chapter here in South River and a wide opened, blank page, brand new chapter to begin at Philedalphia Biblical University. I couldn't be more happy for her! So very honored and proud to know her and to see her mature into a beautiful young lady of GOD!

The first time I met little Kristen she was 5 years old and I babysat for her and her 3 siblings. We attended different churches at the time and I was recommended to the Hubler's through a mutual friend. She was always well behave and often drew me pictures and spelled my name out, writing the "p" in my name backwards every time! When she was 8 we began attending the same church and our friendship and love blossomed from there! She was spunky, friendly yet shy, always had a million and three jokes on hand and was ALWAYS chock full of energy. My mom used to give her piano lessons and she would jump up after every lesson and crawl under all the pews from the front to the back! My mom would meet her in the back, laugh and say, "What ARE you doing?" and then pat her on the head! haha! I remember that so well!

There was also the time when she was 10 and decided she wanted me to teach her how to crochet. She caught onto the chain making fairly quickly but could not grasp the double stitch backwards very well and decided that she just wanted to make the longest chain in the world...that thing was LONG when she got done with it! =D

As she grew, we remained close as ever. Even during a 2 year split from 2006-2008. I missed her so much then! When her family returned we picked up right where we had left off. She had always been my Kristen and I loved her so very much. Then those terrible words entered our vocabulary. SENIOR YEAR. I knew it wouldn't be long before she graduated and left me for college. I pushed those thoughts aside and enjoyed our last year together...but eventually June 2010 arrived...

Her graduation from Timothy Christian School was one of great joy! I clapped, cheered, attempted to whistle, and just out and out bounced up and down every time her name was mentioned. There was one part that I did not do any of those things. During the accomplishment and extra awards part she received the award for being the most likely in her graduating class to lead people to the LORD through the example of her life. I remember them announcing her name to receive it and though I tried to cheer, but my heart leaped into my throat and all I could do was beam widely with tears. She is such a precious girl! Inside, outside and all around! There was another part of the graduation ceremony when the graduates came down to find their parents in the audience. They presented a red rose to their mothers and then the parents were to pray over their children to be a light in this vast world for Jesus. I watched with tears and she presented the rose to her mom and then her father prayed over her. I was praying silently for her from the bleachers, tearing all the while, and when her father finished she turned right towards me and flashed a huge smile! I blew and kiss and waved and was so thankful for that moment. It was positively precious!

Now she's off. A new adventure in her life. New hurdles, new friends, new state, new rules, new classes, new life experiences and all the while she's still the same old bouncy, spirited, loving, enthralling, amazing Kristen that she ever was...

I knew this day had to come...but why did it have to come so soon?


Dear my Krissy-TEN,

I love you so very much! I have watched you grow from that young girl of 5, into the awesome girl of 18 that you are. We have shared joys and sorrows, gains and losses. All the while we have remained as close as could be. I am so thankful to the LORD that I was privileged to be in your life. Remember as you go, that you are not headed anywhere in life where GOD cannot be with you. So many new things are headed your way and Jesus will be by your side for every one of them! This is your life! Embrace it with all you have and live it to GOD's amazing glory, for it is ALL about HIM! I love you and I'm gonna miss you so very much!
You're gonna do great things, I already know! Tight hugs and a loving kiss on your forehead! =D

Love,
April

Psalm 20:4
"May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed"

My Buddy

Dear Seth,

You are 2 years, 6 months and 24 days old...the be exact =} I have loved EVERY month, week, day, hour, moment, and second that we have shared together. You came at the most perfect time. Did I ever tell you that? You see, after your Pa and Grammy passed away our family felt the huge void. Uncle Jimmy and I got married and longed to have a family of our own. In fact, my friends Miss Paula and Miss Holly and I had a pact that we would all have babies together. The problem was that Aunt Pooka had just assumed that her timing was GOD's timing and I had to learn the hard way that things don't happen at the snap of my finger. Miss Paula and Miss Holly were soon expecting and I was not. I was excited for them, but longed for my own baby. The joyous tidings of your impending arrival was welcomed news to my ears. At last I would be able to see and hold a precious baby of my own bloodline even though it wasn't me that was carrying you!

January 25, 2008 was such an amazing day! Miss Paula had just delivered Nora that Monday the 21st and there I was back in the delivery room with your Mommy only 4 days later! Same nurse, same doctor, same everything! We thought for sure that you would either be born on your Great Grandpa Layton's birthday (26th) or your Pa's birthday (27th), but you, my lovey, wanted your own day to yourself and made your grand entrance into this world at 11:26pm. What a tiny, fantastic, screeching bundle of cuteness! I loved you from the moment I saw you! So perfect and handsome! I took so many pictures that I am pretty sure you kept your eyes closed simply because of the flash! haha!!

We've been best buds since that day! You are perfect in my eyes and I tell your Mom that often, even after she shakes her head and disagrees! haha! I love you so very, very much and I love the time we spend together playing with toys or watching Mickey Mouse. You LOVE Mickey Mouse! You love the old classics and the new Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Disney Channel. Our favorite thing to do is curl up together with a FlaVor Ice Pop and watch them together! I can't wait until we go to Disney World in a few weeks! We are going to have a BLAST! We can go on the train and carousel as many times as you want! It's going to be so much fun!

Thank you for being my nephew and thank you for the joy you bring into my life. I love you so much more than I could ever explain! Hot dog, Hot dog, hot diggity dog!

Love,
Aunt Pooka

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah!

Come September, I will embark on an adventure that I've never before had the privilege (guts?) to do. I will wake up Monday morning the 13th and climb into a car with a few suitcases and ride to Newark Airport. There I will exit the vehicle, remove my suitcase, place it on the curb, heave my pack back up, slipping my arms into the shoulder straps and adjust it into a comfortable position and turn back to the car. There I will retrieve one (1) 2 1/2 year old boy and one (1) 18 month old girl. After placing them into their respect strollers that their Dad or my hubby have probably set up for us, I will kiss James goodbye (not doubt tearing up), turn to my sister, Sharon, with a big smile and say, "Let's DO this!"

Disney World. I have an inkling that this place of famous, fabulous, fantastic, phenomenal, family fun is not gonna know what hit it! I am a crazy Disney World addict and I intend to squeeze every drop of vacation fun out of this trip that I can. Now, I understand that my normal schedule of WDW awesomeness will have to be toned down and adjusted because I have two little ones. Most grownups, my James included, cannot keep the Disney World schedule I keep while on vacation there. In fact, in the five times that I have been there only one person has kept pace with me. Paula! My very special friend is just as crazy about Disney World as I am and this past December we achieved the ultimate goal of all four parks in 13 hours!! (That was a beautiful day *tear*, haha!)

Some of the necessary things that I will be incorporating into this trip will be scheduled nap times, consistent bedtimes and limited sugar. I know, I know, it's supposed to be a vacation, but Disney World, with even big kids (like myself), is major stimulation overload and the more of a routine we have, the better it will be!

We are staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge (yay!) and here is what I hope to accomplish on each day, at each of the parks. This if definitely subject to change depending on weather and/or meltdowns/energy levels.

Mon 13th: We arrive and check into AK Resort. We check out our room, change diapers and clothing (if needed) and head downstairs to the Quick Service Counter for lunch. After a leisurely as possible lunch (its hard to sit still knowing that the Magic Kingdom is waiting) we'll hop the bus to MK! I have not decided what their first WDW ride should be, but it's a toss up between Dumbo and Pooh Bear. Dinner will be a Quick-Service Meal at MK, I did not want to schedule dinner reservations on the first day because that day is jam packed enough with the flight and such, plus their naps will be thrown off that day. Some of the other attractions I hope to visit with them will be, The Jungle Cruise,Pirates of the Carribean, The Country Bear Jamboree, Monsters Inc ~Laugh Floor, Peter Pan's Flight and the Tiki Room. (it's a small world will be closed for refurbishment while we are there...boo!) I'm looking to be back to resort and in bed by 9:30

Tues 14th: Breakfast and then off to EPCOT. Some of the attractions I would like us to see are, The Seas with Nemo and Friends, Turtle Talk with Crush and Figment! We will definitely be avoiding, Honey, I shrunk the Audience, but not because of Seth and Gracie. Sharon has a fear of snakes and she will NOT appreciate the 3D show where the enormous snake jumps off the screen to bite at you! haha! For lunch we are eating at the Coral Reef, which is simply awesome! For those of you who have never been there, it is a restaurant built on the side of their humongous aquarium! Prayerfully, Gracie will not freak out at the sharks that swim by! After lunch we will head back for nap time and Sharon and I can take turns swimming in the Resort pool. The evening is open so we may head over to Hollywood Studios or perhaps stay at the resort for an evening of swimming and exploring all the verandas that overlook the animals! Whatever we decide, we will have a Quick-Service meal for dinner and enjoy ourselves. (MK is having a Halloween Party that night, so we are not headed there)

Wed 15th: Breakfast. Then off to Hollywood Studios. Some attractions I definitely want to hit up will be, Toy Story Mania, Playhouse Disney~Live on Stage and Voyage of the Little Mermaid. We will have lunch at a Quick-Service counter and head back to the Resort for nap time. After naps, our dinner is scheduled at the Crystal Palace in Magic kingdom. The Crystal Palace is a Winnie the Pooh character meal, and I am hoping to get some really cute pictures of Seth and Gracie interacting with each one of the characters that come around to the table! After dinner, we can hit up a few rides and attractions and head back unwind for bedtime...unless, by some miracle, Seth and Gracie decide that they suddenly like fireworks and we get a chance to view them! hehe

Thurs 16th: Breakfast. Head over to Hollywood Studios and hopefully see Beauty and the Beast on stage as well at the Muppets 3D and The Magic of Disney Animation. Lunch will be at Hollywood and Vine, which is a character dine with JoJo's Circus. Looking forward to that and hoping they enjoy seeing the characters, especially after the Live on Stage performance. After nap times we have dinner at EPCOT with the princesses. I tried to get Gracie a princess costume of Tiana, from the Princess and the Frog, but the smallest size they had was a 2/3 and it was far too long for my petite niece. She wouldn't be able to walk in it, and I am not going to restrict her to sitting in a stroller just to wear a costume. Instead we have a very cute pink Minnie Mouse costume, complete with lace, white pantaloons that was on 75% off! (what a steal!) Since it will be our last night in WDW, I hope to spend it relaxed and just stroll through some of the worlds at EPCOT and pick up a few trinkets for them to bring home to their Daddy. :D

I'm really looking forward to this special time with my babies. Although I know they most likely will not remember any of it, I plan to have PLENTY of pictures documenting their first visit to the home of THE coolest mouse ever, whom Seth lovingly calls"Meen-Kee Moun-se"! Until then I'll keep reading Disney Bear's Day at the Magic Kingdom to help prepare them for the most exciting adventure of their young lives!!

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mommy. From the time I understood how to answer the question, "What do you want to be when you grown up?" I have answered with two simple words, "a mommy". The earliest memories I have involve a doll that I received for Christmas when I was 2 years old. I still have that dolly (she will be 29 on Dec 25 :D) Her name is Christianne, named for a childhood friend from Sayre Woods, and she sits on the headboard next to my teddy bear, Sacajawea. Most of my childhood up until age 12, revolved around that doll. I played with her nearly every day, even long after my sisters had outgrown playing "house". My doll was so life-like and she looked (from afar) and felt like a real baby. In fact, one day,when I was about 12, a neighbor that had moved into the neighborhood a few months earlier walked up to our backyard and asked how the baby was. I asked,"what baby?" and she pointed to the baby swing I had set up in the corner of the yard that held my doll. I was so embarrassed and mumbled, "she isn't real" and hurried away. I stopped playing with her a lot after that happened and soon, after Scotty was born, I had a real live baby to "play" with! haha!

Even still, years later, I still wonder what it will be like to be a mommy. I mean, I know how to care for children. I've been a babysitter since I was young and childcare is my profession now. I helped to raise Scotty and I care many times for Seth and Gracie. I know how to deal with temper tantrums, teething, diaper rashes, throw up, diaper explosions, and potty training (yes, Scotty, you can thank me for training you, woo hoo! haha!). I know how to properly install a car seat and I can put together a slew of baby paraphernalia without directions. So, the point is, I know a whole lot of what it takes and what's entailed with having a child...

Here are some things that I don't know...

1.What is it like to look down after three min and see two pinks lines? What runs through your head? Does your heart skip an excited beat?

2. What's it like in those precious moments after seeing the pink lines? Do you look in the mirror and beam back at your gleaming eyes? Do you start thinking of how to tell your husband in the most perfect way?

3. What is it like to see the faces of beloved friends and family when you tell them the news? Are the images of their widened eyes, and shrilling shrieks seared into your mind forever?

4. What's it like to walk into the OB/GYN for the first time knowing that your expecting? Do you chatter more excitedly with the nurses and receptionist?

5. What's it like when the doctor says the "official" congratulations? Even though they, no doubt, say it multiple times a day, does it sound different when you're hearing it? As if they must truly mean it more because this will be the most perfect baby ever?

6. What is it like to see that fuzzy, gray image up on that screen and to hear that tud, tud, tud of a small heartbeat? Do you cry? Do you smile ear to ear and have no words at that moment?

7. What is it like to feel your baby kick the first time? Is is defined or does it feel like a gas bubble? hehe What is it like when you see your husband's face as he feels the baby move for the first time?

8. What is it like to waddle around? Is it really annoying or not so bad when people stroke you belly?

9. What runs through your head when you realize you're in labor? Is it joy? Fear? Anxiety? Excitement?

(I won't ask how labor feels. I once had a severe stomach infection and the doctor told me later that the pain I was experiencing was equivalent to contractions in a pregnant woman, except unlike contractions my pain had no pauses...I remember that well, I was screaming the whole way to the ER!)

10. What's it like to hear that first cry? To see you baby for the first time? To hold your baby for the first time? What's it like to look down and know that this precious baby is half you and half your husband and s/he was formed and knit together by an Awesome and Amazing GOD??

Dear Jesus, When I grow up, I wanna be a mommy...Amen.