It's A Wonderful Life II

The following is a diary entry from December 5, 2007. This is one of my favorites!!! Enjoy, and perhaps take a moment to thank our Awesome LORD for what He has blessed YOU with!

People, People People!!!! Listen up! I had the most AMAZING dream last week and I MUST tell you all about it! I even have a title for it so read on.....



It's a Wonderful Life II

Before I begin let me set the mood. Lately Jimmy and I have been discussing our finances and although we trust that the Lord will always provide for us, I've been struggling with guilt. My guilt is that I never went to college. You see, it was my dream to go to college and become a chiropractor. My mama and daddy used to struggle with back pain and neck pain (hehehe have you met my siblings? you'd have a pain in the neck if you did hehehe). OK back to seriousness, I used to tell them that after I went to college I would treat them for free and always take care of them. Well, I never went. I put it off and went to work to help support the family. Now I'm not being a martyr here, I'm glad I went to work and I was very happy to help support everything. Besides now that I think back, I'm glad I stuck around for all those years. Why, if I had gone off to college I would have missed those precious years of Beans Family Fun with my mama and daddy still here on earth! But even yet, when you are struggling with money it's so easy to play the What-if-I-had game.
So, there I was fixing a set budget with my husband, wishing with all my might that I had a large paycheck coming in and if only I had gone to college, shortly after that we turned the lights off and went to sleep..........

My dream ,from what I remember of it, started with the fact that I had somehow invented a way to travel back in time. All I had to do was simply watch a home video and I would be instantly transported back to the time when that video was taken. I chose a video from when I was 12 years old. (Understand that the video and the circumstances of the video does not exist,it was simply one made up in my dream, however my 12 year old self, did look EXACTLY like I did at that very age)
My present-self now stood in front of past-Tabernacle Baptist Church. I had been transported back to see a Pioneer Girl play. (Those of you that know me, know that it would have been OBB Church, not TBC) I quickly pulled the collar of my coat up so that I would not be recognized by anyone and slipped into the church. I saw Pastor Johnson, who would NOT have been there 16 years ago, looking young and dapper! hehehehe The pews were gone and the seats were as movie theater seats and rows. The only seat I could find was right in the front row. I took a seat and the program began. My eyes scanned the choir of young girls till I saw my past-self in the back row. Should have known to look there, at 12 years old I was about 3 inches TALLER than most girls AND boys my age! I smiled and put my hand over my mouth in awe as I watched my past-self laugh and sing! I exclaimed what a fat nerd I used to be and quickly clamped my mouth shut hoping no one had heard. When Act I ended the girls came down the front of the platform to take a break till Act II and my past-self walked past my present-self. (Stay with me here,people lol) My past-self glanced and walked back in front of my present-self and said "WOW! you look familiar!!" My present-self stood up laughing and said "Hi it's me! I'm from the future, I invented a time machine and I came to see you" (No, I have not seen Back to the Future in about 2 years) My past-self thought that was awesome. My present-self then told her that she needed to go to college to become a chiropractor because she was going to need that money in the future because she was going to struggle if not. My past-self agreed to then hugged my present-self and excused herself to go do Act II. My present self reached out and grasped her one more time and said." One more thing, mom and dad are going to die, so love them and hug them as much as you can" My past-self placed a hand on her hip and said sarcastically," Gee, Way to make me feel good, April!" hehehehehhehehe lol I LOVE that part!! I was a smart mouth to MYSELF!!! You can't beat that! My past-self walked away and my present-self walked out of the church.

Instantly I was transported back to the present, and was driving my car home. (I don't know where I was, but anyway) As I was driving I looked down and my legs became slim, I was suddenly wearing pin strip pants and stiletto heels. With one hand on the wheel, I felt my stomach under my business suit top, and it was flat and rock hard. I watched in utter disbelief as my car was transformed into a shiny red Corvette. The car tires squealed as I screeched to a halt on the side of the road and fumbled out of the car. There I stood, towering over 6 foot with my sexy heels and perfectly tailored business suit!!!! Somehow a Chic pea coat appeared with pricey leather driving gloves. I ran my fingers through my fancy haircut. Yes, my hair was to my chin, I didn't seem to mind, since it framed my thin face very nicely. I started jumping up and down.in the stiletto heels and didn't break my ankles! (now we know this is a dream lol!!) I was so happy I just kept yelling, " YES, OH YES, I LISTENED TO MYSELF!!!!"

I had become a successful chiropractor and along with it came a "perfect" size 4 body, and expensive material things. I jumped back into my flashy car and zoomed home to tell Jimmy that we didn't need to worry about money any longer. I pulled up and raced into the house but my room was just the way mom and dad left it when they died. I figured HELLO! I have a great job of course Jimmy and I aren't living with my sister. But, then it hit me....I fell to the ground on my knees, gasping for air....."NO, NO ,NO, NO,NO,NO, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" my breathing was dangerously heavy as it dawned on me....I went to college, I never went to Target as a second job.....I NEVER met Jimmy!!!!!!! There I was, in expensive clothes, with an expensive car, and a loaded bank account, but no Jimmy......

I woke up in a heaving sob and sat straight up. I was covered in a cold sweat and I desperately grabbed at Jimmy's side of the bed for him. He had already left for work so I scrambled across and shoved my face into his pillow and inhaled his scent. As my breathing calmed I thanked Jesus over and over again for my Jimmy. With tears I realized that I could have the world, and every material wish, but if I had never met Jimmy, I would have lost more than I could ever hope to gain.

I love my husband more than fancy clothes,or cars or anything else that this world can offer me and I'm thankful to the Lord for not always giving me what I think I need. He loves me enough to give me what makes this life worth living. I love Jesus and I love Jimmy, everything else is just a side salad!!

...but why did it have to come so soon?

This was the phrase uttered in the Disney movie Sleeping Beauty. The three fairies were nearing the completion their task of hiding Princess Aurora for 16 years. They had volunteered to raise the princess in hiding to shield her from the evil plots of the enemy and now their job was winding to an end. The eldest fairy proclaims "We all knew this day had to come." and the youngest replies, "But why did it have to come so soon?

I'm feeling that way today. Though my task has been far from that of hiding her in a cottage in the woods! My very special girl/friend/neighbor/babysitee, Kristen Hubler, is leaving for college in nearly 4 days. This coming Thursday she will cram her belongings into the trunk and backseat of a car and drive off. Down the road. The ending of a chapter here in South River and a wide opened, blank page, brand new chapter to begin at Philedalphia Biblical University. I couldn't be more happy for her! So very honored and proud to know her and to see her mature into a beautiful young lady of GOD!

The first time I met little Kristen she was 5 years old and I babysat for her and her 3 siblings. We attended different churches at the time and I was recommended to the Hubler's through a mutual friend. She was always well behave and often drew me pictures and spelled my name out, writing the "p" in my name backwards every time! When she was 8 we began attending the same church and our friendship and love blossomed from there! She was spunky, friendly yet shy, always had a million and three jokes on hand and was ALWAYS chock full of energy. My mom used to give her piano lessons and she would jump up after every lesson and crawl under all the pews from the front to the back! My mom would meet her in the back, laugh and say, "What ARE you doing?" and then pat her on the head! haha! I remember that so well!

There was also the time when she was 10 and decided she wanted me to teach her how to crochet. She caught onto the chain making fairly quickly but could not grasp the double stitch backwards very well and decided that she just wanted to make the longest chain in the world...that thing was LONG when she got done with it! =D

As she grew, we remained close as ever. Even during a 2 year split from 2006-2008. I missed her so much then! When her family returned we picked up right where we had left off. She had always been my Kristen and I loved her so very much. Then those terrible words entered our vocabulary. SENIOR YEAR. I knew it wouldn't be long before she graduated and left me for college. I pushed those thoughts aside and enjoyed our last year together...but eventually June 2010 arrived...

Her graduation from Timothy Christian School was one of great joy! I clapped, cheered, attempted to whistle, and just out and out bounced up and down every time her name was mentioned. There was one part that I did not do any of those things. During the accomplishment and extra awards part she received the award for being the most likely in her graduating class to lead people to the LORD through the example of her life. I remember them announcing her name to receive it and though I tried to cheer, but my heart leaped into my throat and all I could do was beam widely with tears. She is such a precious girl! Inside, outside and all around! There was another part of the graduation ceremony when the graduates came down to find their parents in the audience. They presented a red rose to their mothers and then the parents were to pray over their children to be a light in this vast world for Jesus. I watched with tears and she presented the rose to her mom and then her father prayed over her. I was praying silently for her from the bleachers, tearing all the while, and when her father finished she turned right towards me and flashed a huge smile! I blew and kiss and waved and was so thankful for that moment. It was positively precious!

Now she's off. A new adventure in her life. New hurdles, new friends, new state, new rules, new classes, new life experiences and all the while she's still the same old bouncy, spirited, loving, enthralling, amazing Kristen that she ever was...

I knew this day had to come...but why did it have to come so soon?


Dear my Krissy-TEN,

I love you so very much! I have watched you grow from that young girl of 5, into the awesome girl of 18 that you are. We have shared joys and sorrows, gains and losses. All the while we have remained as close as could be. I am so thankful to the LORD that I was privileged to be in your life. Remember as you go, that you are not headed anywhere in life where GOD cannot be with you. So many new things are headed your way and Jesus will be by your side for every one of them! This is your life! Embrace it with all you have and live it to GOD's amazing glory, for it is ALL about HIM! I love you and I'm gonna miss you so very much!
You're gonna do great things, I already know! Tight hugs and a loving kiss on your forehead! =D

Love,
April

Psalm 20:4
"May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed"

My Buddy

Dear Seth,

You are 2 years, 6 months and 24 days old...the be exact =} I have loved EVERY month, week, day, hour, moment, and second that we have shared together. You came at the most perfect time. Did I ever tell you that? You see, after your Pa and Grammy passed away our family felt the huge void. Uncle Jimmy and I got married and longed to have a family of our own. In fact, my friends Miss Paula and Miss Holly and I had a pact that we would all have babies together. The problem was that Aunt Pooka had just assumed that her timing was GOD's timing and I had to learn the hard way that things don't happen at the snap of my finger. Miss Paula and Miss Holly were soon expecting and I was not. I was excited for them, but longed for my own baby. The joyous tidings of your impending arrival was welcomed news to my ears. At last I would be able to see and hold a precious baby of my own bloodline even though it wasn't me that was carrying you!

January 25, 2008 was such an amazing day! Miss Paula had just delivered Nora that Monday the 21st and there I was back in the delivery room with your Mommy only 4 days later! Same nurse, same doctor, same everything! We thought for sure that you would either be born on your Great Grandpa Layton's birthday (26th) or your Pa's birthday (27th), but you, my lovey, wanted your own day to yourself and made your grand entrance into this world at 11:26pm. What a tiny, fantastic, screeching bundle of cuteness! I loved you from the moment I saw you! So perfect and handsome! I took so many pictures that I am pretty sure you kept your eyes closed simply because of the flash! haha!!

We've been best buds since that day! You are perfect in my eyes and I tell your Mom that often, even after she shakes her head and disagrees! haha! I love you so very, very much and I love the time we spend together playing with toys or watching Mickey Mouse. You LOVE Mickey Mouse! You love the old classics and the new Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Disney Channel. Our favorite thing to do is curl up together with a FlaVor Ice Pop and watch them together! I can't wait until we go to Disney World in a few weeks! We are going to have a BLAST! We can go on the train and carousel as many times as you want! It's going to be so much fun!

Thank you for being my nephew and thank you for the joy you bring into my life. I love you so much more than I could ever explain! Hot dog, Hot dog, hot diggity dog!

Love,
Aunt Pooka

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah!

Come September, I will embark on an adventure that I've never before had the privilege (guts?) to do. I will wake up Monday morning the 13th and climb into a car with a few suitcases and ride to Newark Airport. There I will exit the vehicle, remove my suitcase, place it on the curb, heave my pack back up, slipping my arms into the shoulder straps and adjust it into a comfortable position and turn back to the car. There I will retrieve one (1) 2 1/2 year old boy and one (1) 18 month old girl. After placing them into their respect strollers that their Dad or my hubby have probably set up for us, I will kiss James goodbye (not doubt tearing up), turn to my sister, Sharon, with a big smile and say, "Let's DO this!"

Disney World. I have an inkling that this place of famous, fabulous, fantastic, phenomenal, family fun is not gonna know what hit it! I am a crazy Disney World addict and I intend to squeeze every drop of vacation fun out of this trip that I can. Now, I understand that my normal schedule of WDW awesomeness will have to be toned down and adjusted because I have two little ones. Most grownups, my James included, cannot keep the Disney World schedule I keep while on vacation there. In fact, in the five times that I have been there only one person has kept pace with me. Paula! My very special friend is just as crazy about Disney World as I am and this past December we achieved the ultimate goal of all four parks in 13 hours!! (That was a beautiful day *tear*, haha!)

Some of the necessary things that I will be incorporating into this trip will be scheduled nap times, consistent bedtimes and limited sugar. I know, I know, it's supposed to be a vacation, but Disney World, with even big kids (like myself), is major stimulation overload and the more of a routine we have, the better it will be!

We are staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge (yay!) and here is what I hope to accomplish on each day, at each of the parks. This if definitely subject to change depending on weather and/or meltdowns/energy levels.

Mon 13th: We arrive and check into AK Resort. We check out our room, change diapers and clothing (if needed) and head downstairs to the Quick Service Counter for lunch. After a leisurely as possible lunch (its hard to sit still knowing that the Magic Kingdom is waiting) we'll hop the bus to MK! I have not decided what their first WDW ride should be, but it's a toss up between Dumbo and Pooh Bear. Dinner will be a Quick-Service Meal at MK, I did not want to schedule dinner reservations on the first day because that day is jam packed enough with the flight and such, plus their naps will be thrown off that day. Some of the other attractions I hope to visit with them will be, The Jungle Cruise,Pirates of the Carribean, The Country Bear Jamboree, Monsters Inc ~Laugh Floor, Peter Pan's Flight and the Tiki Room. (it's a small world will be closed for refurbishment while we are there...boo!) I'm looking to be back to resort and in bed by 9:30

Tues 14th: Breakfast and then off to EPCOT. Some of the attractions I would like us to see are, The Seas with Nemo and Friends, Turtle Talk with Crush and Figment! We will definitely be avoiding, Honey, I shrunk the Audience, but not because of Seth and Gracie. Sharon has a fear of snakes and she will NOT appreciate the 3D show where the enormous snake jumps off the screen to bite at you! haha! For lunch we are eating at the Coral Reef, which is simply awesome! For those of you who have never been there, it is a restaurant built on the side of their humongous aquarium! Prayerfully, Gracie will not freak out at the sharks that swim by! After lunch we will head back for nap time and Sharon and I can take turns swimming in the Resort pool. The evening is open so we may head over to Hollywood Studios or perhaps stay at the resort for an evening of swimming and exploring all the verandas that overlook the animals! Whatever we decide, we will have a Quick-Service meal for dinner and enjoy ourselves. (MK is having a Halloween Party that night, so we are not headed there)

Wed 15th: Breakfast. Then off to Hollywood Studios. Some attractions I definitely want to hit up will be, Toy Story Mania, Playhouse Disney~Live on Stage and Voyage of the Little Mermaid. We will have lunch at a Quick-Service counter and head back to the Resort for nap time. After naps, our dinner is scheduled at the Crystal Palace in Magic kingdom. The Crystal Palace is a Winnie the Pooh character meal, and I am hoping to get some really cute pictures of Seth and Gracie interacting with each one of the characters that come around to the table! After dinner, we can hit up a few rides and attractions and head back unwind for bedtime...unless, by some miracle, Seth and Gracie decide that they suddenly like fireworks and we get a chance to view them! hehe

Thurs 16th: Breakfast. Head over to Hollywood Studios and hopefully see Beauty and the Beast on stage as well at the Muppets 3D and The Magic of Disney Animation. Lunch will be at Hollywood and Vine, which is a character dine with JoJo's Circus. Looking forward to that and hoping they enjoy seeing the characters, especially after the Live on Stage performance. After nap times we have dinner at EPCOT with the princesses. I tried to get Gracie a princess costume of Tiana, from the Princess and the Frog, but the smallest size they had was a 2/3 and it was far too long for my petite niece. She wouldn't be able to walk in it, and I am not going to restrict her to sitting in a stroller just to wear a costume. Instead we have a very cute pink Minnie Mouse costume, complete with lace, white pantaloons that was on 75% off! (what a steal!) Since it will be our last night in WDW, I hope to spend it relaxed and just stroll through some of the worlds at EPCOT and pick up a few trinkets for them to bring home to their Daddy. :D

I'm really looking forward to this special time with my babies. Although I know they most likely will not remember any of it, I plan to have PLENTY of pictures documenting their first visit to the home of THE coolest mouse ever, whom Seth lovingly calls"Meen-Kee Moun-se"! Until then I'll keep reading Disney Bear's Day at the Magic Kingdom to help prepare them for the most exciting adventure of their young lives!!

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mommy. From the time I understood how to answer the question, "What do you want to be when you grown up?" I have answered with two simple words, "a mommy". The earliest memories I have involve a doll that I received for Christmas when I was 2 years old. I still have that dolly (she will be 29 on Dec 25 :D) Her name is Christianne, named for a childhood friend from Sayre Woods, and she sits on the headboard next to my teddy bear, Sacajawea. Most of my childhood up until age 12, revolved around that doll. I played with her nearly every day, even long after my sisters had outgrown playing "house". My doll was so life-like and she looked (from afar) and felt like a real baby. In fact, one day,when I was about 12, a neighbor that had moved into the neighborhood a few months earlier walked up to our backyard and asked how the baby was. I asked,"what baby?" and she pointed to the baby swing I had set up in the corner of the yard that held my doll. I was so embarrassed and mumbled, "she isn't real" and hurried away. I stopped playing with her a lot after that happened and soon, after Scotty was born, I had a real live baby to "play" with! haha!

Even still, years later, I still wonder what it will be like to be a mommy. I mean, I know how to care for children. I've been a babysitter since I was young and childcare is my profession now. I helped to raise Scotty and I care many times for Seth and Gracie. I know how to deal with temper tantrums, teething, diaper rashes, throw up, diaper explosions, and potty training (yes, Scotty, you can thank me for training you, woo hoo! haha!). I know how to properly install a car seat and I can put together a slew of baby paraphernalia without directions. So, the point is, I know a whole lot of what it takes and what's entailed with having a child...

Here are some things that I don't know...

1.What is it like to look down after three min and see two pinks lines? What runs through your head? Does your heart skip an excited beat?

2. What's it like in those precious moments after seeing the pink lines? Do you look in the mirror and beam back at your gleaming eyes? Do you start thinking of how to tell your husband in the most perfect way?

3. What is it like to see the faces of beloved friends and family when you tell them the news? Are the images of their widened eyes, and shrilling shrieks seared into your mind forever?

4. What's it like to walk into the OB/GYN for the first time knowing that your expecting? Do you chatter more excitedly with the nurses and receptionist?

5. What's it like when the doctor says the "official" congratulations? Even though they, no doubt, say it multiple times a day, does it sound different when you're hearing it? As if they must truly mean it more because this will be the most perfect baby ever?

6. What is it like to see that fuzzy, gray image up on that screen and to hear that tud, tud, tud of a small heartbeat? Do you cry? Do you smile ear to ear and have no words at that moment?

7. What is it like to feel your baby kick the first time? Is is defined or does it feel like a gas bubble? hehe What is it like when you see your husband's face as he feels the baby move for the first time?

8. What is it like to waddle around? Is it really annoying or not so bad when people stroke you belly?

9. What runs through your head when you realize you're in labor? Is it joy? Fear? Anxiety? Excitement?

(I won't ask how labor feels. I once had a severe stomach infection and the doctor told me later that the pain I was experiencing was equivalent to contractions in a pregnant woman, except unlike contractions my pain had no pauses...I remember that well, I was screaming the whole way to the ER!)

10. What's it like to hear that first cry? To see you baby for the first time? To hold your baby for the first time? What's it like to look down and know that this precious baby is half you and half your husband and s/he was formed and knit together by an Awesome and Amazing GOD??

Dear Jesus, When I grow up, I wanna be a mommy...Amen.

A Sure Laugh

The following Youtube video is my absolute favorite video of all!! It might be because my nephew Scotty, stars as Captain Black Bean, or maybe because my nephew Seth, has a small supporting role, but I like to think it's because it's just SOOO incredibly funny!! This video, shot for Sayre Woods Bible Church's 2010 VBS promo, captures Scotty's Charlie Chaplin-like actions and reactions! The first time I saw this video last week, I nearly passed out from laughing so hard! It's just sooooo Scotty!! The music, the fast motion settings, the facial expresions, everything! I love, love, love it and the I give big props to the boys that filmed/cut this video. You all did a fantastic job!...and I must mention, once more, the cute little boy with the shovel was a perfect choice! He's so lovable! hehee

Watch and enjoy the pride and joys of this Auntie!

p.s. plus seeing Pastor Joe chasing him with a broom is off the hook HYSTERICAL!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImuPvCGmk84

Happy Birthday, Scotty!!

I haven't been able to blog as I should, being up here at Word of Life, but I did want to set apart a special blog to wish my nephew, Scotty Beans, a very Happy 17th Birthday!!
I hope you are enjoying your birthday week at Camp of the Woods and your day is extra special! I love you my Smooch!

Word of Life!

Good Morning, everyone! I don't have too much time, but I wanted to quick write and tell you a little bit about how our vacation is going. James and I are up at Word of Life Inn, Schroon Lake, NY. I awakened this morning at 6:15am to the sounds of birds chirping outside my open window...yes, I said OPEN WINDOW! The weather outside was a cool56 degrees and the air was fresh and heavenly! Gotta love the Adirondack Mountains! hehe

James and i have bee here since Saturday. After a 5 hour drive, we dropped Rebecca H, Rebecca D, Sarah D, and Kassidy K at the boat dock for Word of Life Island where they will be spending the week. James and I then drove up the hill and checked into our room at the WOL Inn. We are in a fabulous room at the conference center and loving every moment!

We have heard amazing messages from Dr. Joe Jordan and Pastor Ray Pritchard!...oopps, I've got to get ready! It's almost time for Morning Bible Hour #1 with Pastor Erwin Lutzer, of Moody Bible Church. He is simply wonderful and I look forward to what GOD will show me in His Word today!

A few quotes from yesterdays messages that stuck with me and I've been chewing on...

1. When trials enter my life, I am to be a student and LEARN what GOD wants me to glean from it. I should not be a victim and complain, groan and whine about what isn't fair in the situation...

2. When I suffer trials, I do not suffer them alone. There are many, many people in my life that I don't realize are watching to see my reactions and if I truly live what I say I believe.


LORD, May I bring honor to Your Name today in all of my actions. Thank You for giving me this opportunity to be up here on this mountain. Prepare my heart to hear what You want me to this day and may I take what I learn and apply it to my life. In Jesus' Name I pray, AMEN!

Some poems...

The following is a poem that I wrote when my Daddy went Home to be with Jesus. This particular poem took me 8 1/2 min to write and I wrote it within the hour that he passed away. My Mama loved it (as well as my sblings) and we printed it out on his funeral program. I feel that it captures who my Dad was and the realization that he closed his eyes here on Earth, amid the pain and agony of a progressive cancer, and opened them to see the loving face of his Master, King Jesus!

There are a few things, inside info you could say, that I'd like to explain so you can get the full grasp of what I wrote. When Scotty was born and as he grew up, we all went from calling my Dad, "Daddy", to calling him Pa. Scotty started it and it kinda stuck =}...My Daddy passed away at 11:50am on Wednesday, March 23, 2005...Face to Face was written by Grant Colfax Tullar, 1898 and I have used a verse without written consent....My Dad always said I loves you. Always added the "s" onto love, that was just his thing =}...Daddy and Mommy called each other their "penguin" and Daddy started the Penguin 1 & Penguin 2 when I was in my teens and it was hysterical. Whenever there was walkie talkies around Daddy always had to give mom one and run around the house with the other just so he could say, "Penguin 1 to Penguin 2, come in Penguin 2, over"...Mom laughed so hard (with tears) when she read the end of the poem. She told me it was perfect! I hope you enjoy this.


Hi everyone, it's Pa
Im writing from above
I just had to tell you
About this wondrous love

On Wednesday morn, I suffered
Breathing was a strain
but right before the strike of noon
My Savior eased my pain

It was so incredible
One moment I was there
Then in the twinkiling of an eye
All I could do was stare

For right in front of me
Stood my Jesus and my King
And as I fell down on my knees
I couldn't help but sing

"Face to face, O blissful moment
Face to face to see and know
Face to face with my Redeemer
Jesus Christ Who loves me so"

Then He put His arms around me
And helped me up, to stand
He said,"Well done My servant,
Welcome to the Promised Land"

And in that glorious moment
As I walked the streets of gold
My eyes beheld the wonders
Of all that we've been told

From the mansions, to the angels
To the flowing crystal sea
All the riches and the glory
Have been bestowed on me

I am doing fine here
I just wanted to say "hi"
And remind you, Jesus holds you
Every time you cry

I'm going now, I loves you
I'm gonna run and shout
I miss you all, I'll see you soon
Penguin 1, over and out!


The next is a poem I wrote about my relationship with my Dad. He was the one to scoop me up when I fell down as a child, he was the one to hold me in his arms when the first boy I liked was no longer interested. I don't wanna spoil the ending of the poem, but the last section speaks volumes about my life and how I got through losing my Daddy at 25...

I was just a little girl
with tears pouring down
As I clutched my little hand
and sat crying on the ground

And that was when he came
He ran to help me stand
He sat me down upon his knee
and kissed my skinned up hand

And I said "Daddy,
Make it go away,
this pain hurts so much
I don't want it to stay"

And Daddy said,"Time,
healing takes time,
I am here for you
Remember you are mine"

I was in my early 20's
with tears pouring down
for my first broken heart
left me trampled on the ground

And that was when he came
He ran to help me stand
He kissed my tear stained cheeks
and stroked my trembling hand

And I said "Daddy,
Make it go away,
This pain hurts so much
I don't want it to stay"

And Daddy said,"Time,
Healing takes time
I am here for you
Remember you are mine"

I was only twenty-five
With tears pouring down
And I watched in empty silence
As they laid him in the ground

And that was when He came
He ran to help me stand
And though I could not see Him
I knew He held my hand

And I said, "Jesus,
Please make it go away
This pain, it hurts so much
I don't want it to stay"

And Jesus whispered, "Time
Healing takes time
I am here for you
Remember you are Mine"

Seventeen Already?!?! - Part 2

June, as a single mother, had to work long hours so I was responsible for caring for Scotty for a lot of the day. Mom used it as part of my homeschooling. She was training me to care for my own family one day. I loved watching him! I did have my other schoolwork to complete as well, so I did not get to be with him in the mornings. Usually after I fed him lunch, I rocked him to sleep and then went back to finish the remainder of school. After nap time I got to play with him or take him outside. After dinner I would bathe him and then massage him with baby lotion. He LOVED to have his back rubbed and would laugh hysterically when rubbed his feet and toes! In the spring, summer and sometimes fall, I would be allowed to take him for an evening walk in the stroller. Those were some of the best times! "Wass dat?" was his favorite phrase!... One evening when he was 2, we saw a birdie get hit by a car and roll to the curb dead. It was very sad to see and I had no idea how to answer the question that followed. "Birdie seepin'?"...wow, 15 years later and that still makes me say "awwwww!"

Scotty's Favorite Things:

1.His pacifier, lovingly called "NUK-ie" was ever present in his toddler years. He loved that thing more than anything! He had an array of NUK-ies around, all different colors and sizes. My favorite, most entertaining thing to do was to stick it in his mouth upside down and watch him flip it with his tongue. I have no idea why this was so hysterical to me but it made me laugh every time! haha! Even now just thinking about it!

2. His "ca-co-mok cup-ies"...chocolate milk in his blue sippie cup. If I had a dollar for every cup of chocolate milk I made him, I'd be writing this blog from my beach house in Ocean City! haha!

3.Walking around with a blanket on his head. I still have no idea why he did this! He would take the twin size comforter from his mother's bed and put it over his head and walk around. One day (3-ish) when he did this he walked into the kitchen where Donna had been struggling to get a closet door open. The door was prone to sticking and she was pulling with all her might. He waddled up, still covered in the comforter, and I think was attempting to grab her when the door released and came flying open and right into him! We gasped and Donna grabbed the door and we stared at his still figure. What he did next is for the comical books of history. He fell straight forward to the floor!! He didn't put his hands up or bend his knees to break the fall, he just fell straight forward, flat on his face! Donna and I heard him mumble from inside the blanket "tweet, tweet, tweet" simulating little birdies flying in a circle above his head!! I believe I fell to the floor from laughing so hard and I'm pretty sure Donna was sprawled across the kitchen table gasping for breath from the hysteria of what he'd done! He was definitely our comic relief!

4. He loved to be a cowboy. He was obsessed with John Wayne movies and Toy Story. Nearly every day he wore hi sheriff's vest with silver star, his 2 gun holster (he wasn't allowed to take the guns outside), his cowboy hat, and his cowboy boots. He would march around with movie reels running through his head and ride his little toy rolling horsie. The imagination of Andy, from the movie Toy Story, had nothing on Scotty. He had a unique, unparalleled way of playing and did all his own stunts! This included being shot off of his high jumpy horse which stood 3 feet off the floor as well as squeezing between the bathtub and toilet to "hide out"! He took his job as sheriff very seriously. One of the best places to take him was Gettysburg, because he could wear his get-up, including guns and not be out of place. At 3 1/2 we vacationed there and I was walking down the main street with him in his outfit. While we were pssing one of the restaurants there was an elderly couple sitting on a bench in front. As we past by the elderly gentleman hollered out, "Howdy, Sheriff!" Scotty stopped dead in his tracks, staring straight ahead and reached with his right hand to grasp his gun. As he slowly withdrew it he turned to his right to stare the man down. Gun raised, he cocked pistol and the elderly man said, "It wasn't me, Sheriff, I'm just a-passin' through!" Scotty lowered the gun, holstered it, nodded to the couple, swung back around and continued his path! I thought the couple was gonna die! They were laughing so hard! I was to busy doing the silent laughter and clutching my sides in pain! Ya don't mess with Sheriff Scotty in Gettysburg!

5.He loved to sing in church. It was always very interesting to hear how he translated the words. "What a mighty GOD, reach erve" (What a Mighty God We Serve").."Jesus made me glad, Jesus made me glad" (He Has Made Me Glad) "So-ler-ent night, Hole-ery Night (Silent Night, Holy Night)..and there was NO correcting him! haha! If I told him the correct words he would shake his head and correct ME! haha!

Oh my Smooch! You were such a cute little boy! haha! I had so many nicknames for you up until you were 3. Your first nickname was Poonie-Woonie (aren't you glad I changed that?) Then came Foonie-baby, then Cheek-o and finally one day when I had to leave you I said, "Come here and give me a little smooch" and thus was born your final nickname. My Smooch!! haha! I love you!

Seventeen Already?!?! - Part 1

Seventeen.

Never did that number seem so daunting to me! I recall reaching that age in the year 1996. It was a simple step in my life and there wasn't much fuss and no cute phrases attached to it like the Sweet 16 year before. I didn't feel much different and there was really nothing to report. I daresay I really don't recall much about that particular birthday. So then why does that simple number have my emotions flying left and right, up and down, round and round?

Scotty's 17th birthday is next week!

When did this happen? When did he go from my little boy "Smooch" to this young man? I look at him in shock and I literally have no words to express myself (but, I will try, because then it will be a boring blog)

Over the next week, I would like to share stories of my Scotty and some adventures we have shared over the last 17 years. He has been my best little friend since the day we first met. I love him so much and hope that one day I will show these blogs to his wife-to-be and give her her a glimpse into the life of this amazing boy, through the eyes of his FAVORITE Aunt, Pookie =}

Scotty. My little bundle of joy. Born to my sister, June, a mere 2 1/2 months after my 14th birthday on July 29, 1993. So cute and precious and just as perfect as could be. I remember not being allowed to visit him in the hospital because I was too young (you had to be 16). Mom brought me home Polaroid pictures, but it wasn't the same. I longed to meet him, hold him and see him live!

I remember changing his diaper for the first time at a few days old and he had quite the surprise for me! June hovered over me and pointed out everything that I was doing wrong. haha. I was so annoyed with her, but I can understand her reactions. This was her baby and she wanted everything done perfectly...she got over that!

I also remember the first time I was allowed to watch him alone. It was our first of adventures! He was only a few weeks old and I volunteered to stay with him while the family went for ice cream at Magnifico's on RT 18. We had been under a severe thunderstorm watch and after everyone had left I peered through the picture window as dark clouds rolled in. That was when I saw them...I'll NEVER forget it...dark GREEN circulating clouds. I remember the dread. I had read so much about weather, it had ALWAYS fascinated me. I knew what that meant, it was the perfect recipe for a tornado! My 14 year old heart nearly stopped beating, but soon my panic was replaced with the realization that I was alone and responsible for this tiny, helpless baby. I sprang into action and wrapped him into a tight swaddle. I grabbed an extra blanket and fled from our 2nd story apartment, outside, around the back of the house, to the cellar. I remember clutching him in one arm as I struggled with keeping my frightened hand steady since it was trembling too much to unlock the big door. Finally, I managed to insert the key and turn it the correct way. I flung open the door and carefully descended down the steep, dark and damp wooden steps and stood huddled with 3 week old Scotty determining in my mind how I would cover him safely if the twister should strike the house head on. My mind raced wildly and tears began to form but I recall blinking them back, trying to be brave and began praying that the tornado, if it had touched down, would pass us by. The never officially was an actual tornado, though it was said that a funnel tip touched down in an East Brunswick apartment complex and tore the roof off of one of the buildings. (The winds that were associated with the super cell were enough to simulate an F1, at least in my book!) The winds soon died down and I emerged from the cellar thankful that the LORD had spared us. Everyone arrived home shortly later and it was a barrage or stories about what happened and what they saw from their car windows, stranded in the paring lot of the ice cream place. I felt proud that I had survived it alone with baby Scotty. Mama and Daddy called me brave and said I was a quick thinker and very smart to flee to the cellar!

What a scary, awesome adventure we had, Smooch. I'm very grateful to GOD that He was with us that day and watched over all of our family! I should have known that day, that life with you was going to be anything but boring!

Ten Reasons I love my James

1. He loves the LORD with all his heart and has such a burden for reaching lost souls with the saving knowledge of Jesus.

2. He always wants to kiss and snuggle me and chases me out the door (and down the block a few times) if I try to go to work without kissing him goodbye 10 times!

3. He gives the best foot and back massages.

4. He is not afraid of housework or cooking and after a 12 hour day at work it's nice to come home to see everything so clean and smell yummy food!

5. He is not happy with himself unless he knows he is doing EVERYTHING he can to provide for me.

6. He knows I have a head full of dreams and crazy ideas and never mocks anything my crazy mind comes up with...and when he needs to talk me down from a high-flying plan of adventure he does it gently and with love, patience and kindness

7. We fit together so well and we only argue a handful of times each year, and he's very easy to make up with!

8. He is humble and will adjust his attitude and actions if he is perceived as being arrogant or prideful.

9. He still has such a love and respect for my parents, although they are no longer with us. (He was my Mom's favorite and she ALWAYS took his side on everything...He was my Dad's choice for me and he was also one of the last people Daddy recognized just days before he passed away)

10. I love how much he loves me and shows me every day in actions, in his eyes and in his touch!

I love you James Dynarski! I'm so glad it was you that GOD gave to me! You are far better than anything I hoped and prayed for! I am a blessed woman, just to have you as MY husband! You are the BEST and I love you a milliondy-billiondy, my little snuggly-pot!

Narnia Costume Party

Today was an awesome day! Our very special friends came to our costume dinner party! These fabulous parties started when Rachel (8) and Mary (6) invited us to a special Star Wars dinner party! (I will blog about that party at another time) James and I decided to throw a costume party since they had so nicely done the same and invited us! We decided on a Narnia dinner party because we all LOVE the Chronicles of Narnia books!

Our lovely friends showed up around 5:30. Paula was dressed like the Pevensie mother, she looked a lot like Mary Poppins hehe, Rachel was dressed as Susan, Mary came as Lucy and little Nora (2) was very excited to tell me she was Edmund! Her "favorite handsome boy!" LOL! I know, a 2 year old! hehe Sooo cute!

The funniest part was when Steve debuted HIS costume. He stood in all black and had us close our eyes and when we opened them, he had plopped a cut out cardboard box, with doors and a latch! He was the WARDROBE!! We all laughed so hard!! It was HYSTERICAL!

So, for dinner I made...wait, what???...OH!! I did forget to tell you what James and I dressed as, sorry! hehe I was the white witch. I dressed in my wedding gown (hey, I couldn't spend THAT much on it and only wear it ONCE!) I had a blond wig and James made me a scepter out of a HUGE plastic straw and tin foil! hehe James was dressed as the dwarf, Nickabrick, from Prince Caspian. His long gray beard was funny looking and it reminded me to thank him for always shaving and not growing it out! haha

Now, onto the meal...To make the party authentic I looked up several English food recipes and prepared everything from scratch. We had shepherd's pie, toad in the hole (sausage in a yummy pot pie crust), mushy broccoli, and scones. Everything was super delicious but for some reason I could not try the toad in the hole. I don't know if it was the name or what, but when I got a look at it after James' scooped it onto my plate, I dry heaved! Weird reaction! I don't generally have that kind of reaction to any type of food! haha! I think it was the combination of the name and the fact that sausage isn't exactly my favorite food. Who knows?!

After dinner we played hide and seek, because that is what the Pevensie children play when the wardrobe is discovered. Steve counted first and Mary and I darted to the kitchen and hid on the side of my fridge. It's a perfect fit and since it's against the far wall no one can walk past and see us! The only chance someone had to spy us is if they walked into my bathroom and turned around, which Steve eventually did! hehe It was so much fun! We played a few more rounds and then settled in to watch The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe!

About 45 min into the movie, I jumped up to serve dessert. A fabulous strawberry cream pie (I cheated a little and just used a store graham crust), homemade shortbread and jam (it came out a little dry, but my guests were so kind and gobbled it up anyway!) and Turkish Delight! We HAD to have Turkish Delight! It's IN the movie! hehe

The movie ended at 9:15 and we said our goodbyes to some very tired girls. The night was a success and a super fun time!

"Dear Father, Thank You so much for good friends and special times that we can have together. Thank You for allowing us to have fun and be creative! You are an Awesome GOD and I thank You for the gift of laughter and love! In Jesus' Name, Amen"

A Letter to Mom

Dear Mommy,

It's been 45 months, today, since you left me. I'll never forget that day as long as I live. It was Columbus Day 2006 and I had worked a full day because the kids had off. My day was so super stressful that day, Mom. My wedding was in 12 days, Jimmy's house was on the market and not selling and I was still learning to deal with everyday life and activities since losing Daddy the year before. I came home that evening angry at the world, stressed to the hilt and sat down to check my email. After signing onto my AOL account I saw the list of people on and quickly signed on to my secret screen name so no one would talk to me. After a few moments I heard the familiar "brrrr-iiing" of an IM. There you were, IM-ing me on my secret name! I half smiled and was so confused as to how you had found me! You told me that you had checked out my laptop when you were bored the day before at the house. You had seen my secret name and jotted it down to log onto your friend's list so that you could find me if I were ever hiding. I remember laughing out loud and secretly feeling so grateful to have someone to talk to. I unloaded the spew of my day and you listened and typed encouraging things to me. "Oh, Pook, you're doing fine. Those kids need you and it was just a bad day"...Then you told me you weren't feeling well and you were going to go lay down. You typed "Good-bye Pook" and signed off. Less than 2 hours later you would close your eyes here on Earth and open them in eternity. I often think...even 45 months later...what you saw in that moment. I know it was Jesus! You were gone so fast from me and yet it's so reassuring to know that you left me for the arms of Jesus! What an AWESOME Savior I serve! Such hope and love!

I still miss you though. So very, very much! I remember the day before you left, you had played special music in church. You played "In Times Like These". I cling to the words of that song to this day. I know that the LORD led you to play that song as your last special music...

"In times like these you need a Savior
In times like these you need an anchor;
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

Chorus
This Rock is Jesus, Yes, He's the One;
This Rock is Jesus, the only One!
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

In times like these you need the Bible,
In times like these O be not idle;
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

Chorus
This Rock is Jesus, Yes, He's the One;
This Rock is Jesus, the only One!
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

In times like these I have a Savior,
In times like these I have an anchor;
I'm very sure, I'm very sure
My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!"


...Oh Mama, I'm so glad you are in Heaven with Jesus, but sometimes out of my own selfish desires, I wish you were here to talk to. Sometimes, like today, I feel the weight of the world. James is out of work and unemployment runs out in 2 months, the car repair bill just came in, I'm down to one job until mid-August, we've gone through all of James' retirement money...but I know what you would say if you were here. You'd tell me to secure my anchor, Jesus, and grip the solid Rock! (then Daddy would pop in a say that we serve a GOD Who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and the LORD will sell a few if He has to just to get me through, haha! I miss Daddy's whacked humor)You would say "It's OK, Pook" and then tell me about one of the numerous times that the LORD provided for our family in a seemingly out-of-nowhere way. I have comfort in those stories of faithfulness and provisions of our Loving Father!!

Thank you, Mommy, for being a faithful wife and mother. Thank you for raising me to trust and obey the Only Living LORD! Thank you for your love that lasts, even to this day. I miss you so much and look forward to the day when Jesus I will see. After seeing His marvelous face and worshiping at His feet, I look forward to wrapping my arms around you once again and laying my head on your shoulder (I'm pretty sure we will all be the same height in Heaven so I can do this without cricking my back! hehe)I look forward to hearing your voice and seeing those precious hands reach out to stroke my forehead the way they did so many times throughout my life. Thank you for being my Mommy. I love you so very much!

Love,
Your April Joy...aka Pook

4th of July Weekend!

Happy 4th of July!

On this fabulous weekend of our nation's 234th birthday an array of festivities were lived and seen through the eyes of the Dynarski couple, James and April, as well their lovable niece Gracie and nephew Seth

Saturday: I was up around 7am and had my prayer and devotion time. James, who was slightly more tired than usual slept in until 8am. The cuties, Seth and Gracie arrived about 8:45 for the parade. James, Seth and I were all dressed in matching dark blue Old Navy America shirts & jean shorts and Gracie had on a sunsuit with a red and white striped top and blue starred bottom. They were very lovable and cute! hehe. Our friends, the Beisser Clan (Steve, Paula, Rachel(8) Mary(6) and Nora(2), arrived at 9am, dressed in their red,white and blueness, and we all headed over to the Milltown 4th of July parade. Even though the parade doesn't start until 10am, you must arrive in Milltown up to an hour early to get a spot in the shade. The 9 of us found a beautiful shaded spot under a cluster of trees a couple blocks before the end of the parade route! We had a wonderful time in the hour or so before the parade made it to us, just laughing, talking and playing. Pretty soon we heard a "rat-a-tum, rat-a-tat, boom, boom!" and the parade sounds drew closer and soon we saw an array of colors, flags, people, candy, cars, trucks, clowns, and animals! What a spectacular parade! We stood for every American flag and for every war veteran that passed us by. We also stood and cheered loud as could be for the Right to Life marchers! One of the Right to Lifers stopped and took a picture of me holding Seth and Gracie cheering! Unfortunately my mouth was wide open when he snapped it, so I hope he gets a hoot and holler out of my funny face! haha

After the parade the Beisser and Dynarski/Lane's headed our separate ways for lunch and after nap time we reconvened at the Beisser home for a swim! We swam (yes, me, in the KIDDIE pool haha) and had BBQ burgers and chips for dinner. Sharon and Tommy arrived around 6 to take Seth and Gracie home. James and I stayed and had movie night with our friends and enjoyed ourselves immensely! What a fantastic day!

Sunday: It was my day to sleep in a little and I snoozed until 9am. Church was wonderful! Our visiting missionaries, Tom and Sharon Huckel gave a wonderful message and special music. They are in Jewish missions in the city of Philadelphia. James and I hosted them for the day and had a wonderful time! Tom and Sharon knew my Mama and Daddy from years ago and it is always a special time seeing them. The memories they have are ones that I love to hear over and over. Since it was such a busy, and HOT weekend, we opted to eat out instead of heating the house up with cooking. We ate at the Sayreville Diner, which I'm afraid, could have used some COLDER air conditioning! It was a little sweaty in there! The afternoon was spent in the welcomed coolness of our family room where we discussed everything from tattoos to theology! I love them so much and I loved every moment of time we had with them. Tom spoke at the evening service as well and afterwards they invited James and I to dinner! I thought for sure they would have wanted to head home and felt very special that they wished to continue spending more time with us! Our dinner at IHOP was simply wonderful and I think if I had laughed anymore that night my sides would have split! I told James later on that night that the day we spent with the Huckels, was a glimpse as to what it would have been like to spend a day with my Mama and Daddy if they had lived. I was amazing and I thank the LORD for that very special time and for being in our midst and in our conversation! Thank you LORD Jesus, for a wonderful weekend with amazing people!

Proverbs 17:22 "A joyful heart is good medicine..."