Do You Miss Her More...?

"Do you miss your mom more now that you're pregnant?"

This was the question that my Grandma Trudy (Mom's mom) asked me the other night on the phone.

Grandma Trudy has lost a lot of people in her lifetime (she's 84) including her beloved husband, both parents, a sibling, a daughter, all her aunts, uncles and most, if not ALL, of her cousins. She understands loss, but she mostly didn't experience it until she was in her late 50's. She had her Mom living near her for her pregnancies and most of the time she was raising my mom and uncles. She really was curious to know if I miss my mom more now that I'm pregnant.

The answer to that is "no". I do not miss my mom more for there is no possible way that "more" can fit into the space I hold in my life entitled "Missing Mom". When you're in your 60's-80's you almost expect to lose your parents. It's kind of inevitable, although I would never say easier. It doesn't matter how old you are losing a parent is NEVER easy to accept. However, losing your parents in your mid twenties is a WHOLE different spectrum. Does it get easier? Yes, that is why the LORD designed the grieving process. If handled step by step, you will not spend the rest of your life in doldrums and depression sobbing every day for your loss. You learn to accept and deal with each new day of not having that person's presence in your life. You will have certain days when a phrase triggers tears, or a song tugs at your heartstrings, or your memory replays that terrible night, but for the most part you are a happy, functioning member of LIFE!

The "more" factor does not fit into this case. I think of losing my mom as a hole in my life. She filled a space that no one else could. When the LORD took her home that space was ripped from my life leaving ragged edges and natural tears all around. Jesus steps in with His grace, mercy & love and smooths the edges and mends the tears but there is still a hole. That hole is empty of the completion of HAVING my mom with me, but filled with the realization that I WILL see her again one day! Regardless of what comes and goes in my life, that hole remains. It neither grows, nor shrinks, it is simply a hole.

The only "more" I can use in regards to Mom is that each new day of living for Jesus, is one MORE day closer to seeing her again =)

Psalm 19:14
"May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

A Great Giveaway!!!

http://acreativeprincess.blogspot.com/2011/11/1000-followers-giveaway-and-happy.html

4 weeks!

Oh my Lovey-girl I get to meet you so soon! To hold you and kiss you and love you! I can't wait!

At this very moment you have your feet tucked up on my left side pressing into my ribs. It's quite uncomfortable but I love that you are so big that you're running out of room! This means that you'll be here before I know it! I love you, my precious treasure! You are an amazing gift from the LORD and I look forward to every moment I will spend with you!

Love,
Mommy

p.s. your hiccups at 5am this morning were so cute. Did you know that when Mommy gets hiccups it makes her mad? It really does! Mommy doesn't get mad often but hiccups REALLY bother me!...Guess What? I have noticed when you get them you kick me SUPER hard after each one. I think you may take after me! =)

Cousin Seth

Dear Anya,

I had to stop for a bit today to write you this letter. There are spots in the carpet that are driving me NUTS and I've been on my hands and knees scrubbing them out...Daddy thinks I'm nesting, I think that the spots just decided to get on my nerves all of the sudden... (Daddy might be right=)...Anyway, I have to tell you about how excited your Cousin Seth is to meet you!

Every day he runs in at 9:00 in the morning and jumps right into my lap. He snuggles for about 10 min and then has to sit back and feel for you. You usually bump his hand and he laughs hysterically and says,"Hiiiii, Baby Anya!!". He calls Gracie over, if she's not sitting with us and he'll take her hand and press where he just felt you kick and tell Gracie to wait to feel the bump!

Cousin Seth usually brings you something from home every day. Many times it's one of his very own toys and he tells me that its for you and I must keep it safe and give it to you when you come. When we do projects at school he wants to make it for you, and last week when we used poofy balls during craft time he insisted on sticking a green one in my belly button so you could have it! Today he brought over his Thomas the Tank firetruck and unhooked his caboose and balanced it on my belly so you could play with him! He never wants you to feel left out!

Sometimes Mommy has to take him and Gracie with me to the doctor to check up on you. Cousin Seth thinks it is very serious and tells me all about how the doctor is going to measure me and check your heart. Last week Dr. G was so backed up we were there TWO hours and Seth and Gracie were SOOOO good that Mommy took them to McDonald's and bought them special Happy Meals as a treat! Do you know what Cousin Seth did? He took his Puss in Boots toy and gave it to you! He refused to take it home because he wants you to have it! He loves you so very, very much! You are his special girl already and he can't wait to meet you at "Triss-mas Time"!!

...and you know what? I can't wait to meet you, either!!

Taking a Walk

While taking a walk today I was enjoying some time alone with Jesus. It's been a while since just the two of us went for a walk. I sometimes forget how special that time is! I have many wonderful people to walk with in my life, but sometimes it needs to be just me and my LORD.

As we walk along, I envision Jesus is on my left hand side and He's got His arm around my shoulders. We walk and I tell Him all about my life and things I am thankful for, things I know I need to work on, and I ask Him questions and share my heart. I already know that He knows it all but I tell Him everything, nonetheless. =)

Today as we turned the corner onto Brenning Place, I noticed that there was a long stream of melted snow water running along the side of the road to my left. I automatically apologized to Jesus for making Him walk on that side in the water, and I instantly heard this thought pop into my head... (have you ever had that happen? Like you know you thought it, but it feels like you didn't and somebody actually spoke to you?)...I heard this voice say, "That's OK, I walked on the water!"... I burst out laughing!! hahaha! It was so funny! Anyone that saw me probably thought I was nuts (and you may, too) but I have a great time with my LORD! I just love Him so much and I know He loves to laugh, just like me!! :D

My Will?

I totally have to share something that I couldn't today at our Ladies Bible Study (because I would've cried) about how sometimes GOD takes our willfulness and puts a blessing inside of it that we may not see until many years down the road...

When I was about to marry it was MY will and MY plan to have children right away. I had two countdowns going. One was the number of days until my wedding day and the other was one day longer and it was the day I would conceive. I was that SURE and that DETERMINED! I never once stopped to ask the LORD if it was HIS will that I even HAVE children...

It was so well known that this was MY plan that the running joke at my bridal shower was, "see you at the baby shower in 8 months!"...My Mom even gave me a bridal shower gift that was a baby bag consisting of bibs, little socks and some sippie cups. (When I didn't conceive I tucked the bag away, forgotten in the attic...)

After years of trying and many tears, I finally surrendered and asked for GOD's will to be done. I stopped focusing so much on WHEN and IF it would happen, and focused more on surrendering my will to His good purpose... Then came that day, this past April, when I was COMPLETELY shocked to discover Anya was on the way! (YAY!)

Fast forward to last Friday: I was cleaning the attic and out of a plastic tub I pulled a bag. I knew right away what it was and as I unzipped it I looked inside and pulled out a pink bib that read , "I Love Daddy"...It was the baby bag of gifts from my Mom!

My Mom, who will never attend my baby shower. Anya has gifts from her Grammie!! Her Grammie, that if she had lived, would be head-over-heels excited to be meeting her granddaughter in a few months!

GOD took the impatience and willfulness of my stubborn heart and planted inside of it a blessing for my daughter who would not arrive for more than FIVE YEARS from that time!! Even though it does not justify my willful heart, I know that my Loving Father led my mother (who undoubtedly thought she would live to see her grandchildren) to purchase those baby gifts for me because she wouldn't be here to do so for my baby shower...

I serve an AWESOME GOD!! He loves me so very, very much!!!!

Half A Box

Every other Thursday, during the school year, the kiddies and I have Library Time with Miss Dawn. This is a fun time of reading, a silly game and a lot of singing! Although Seth and Gracie are always shy at first, they usually warm up pretty fast! (side note: Yesterday's class was SUPER fun. If you have not read the book Press Here by Herve Tullet, I highly recommend that you check it out! It makes for an awesome time of crazy polka dot fun!)

One of the things I implement into our trips to the library is a donation to the South River Food Bank. There is a bin as soon as you enter the door and Seth & Gracie love to bring canned or boxed non perishables to donate to "little kids who need something to eat". Of course, their favorite thing to do is pick out colorful cereal and take it to the bin! I think it's all about putting an exciting treat into the box for another child to enjoy!

Yesterday, as we prepared to leave I had asked Seth to remind me to pick something out to take.-My mind is SOOO forgetful lately!- Well, he REMEMBERED! As I was preparing to walk out the door he came up to me clutching an open box of Trix and asked, "Can I take this one, Pooka?" SOOOO CUTE!! I commended him for remembering and gently explained that we want to bring NEW food to the bin. We want the little kids to have fresh food and the Trix might get stale and yucky. I took him by the hand and we searched through the cabinets until we found two new boxes of Hamburger Helper and he and Gracie skipped out the door with their donations.

I thought to myself how I sometimes come to GOD with a half opened box of something in my life. I am convinced that this is what I need to give others. Unlike Seth, however, I am aware that it is NOT what I can fully give, although I try to pass it off as a sacrifice of my time and energy. The LORD then has to take my hand and walk me to the cabinet of my talents and pull out a "fresh box" and help me to realize that I need to give ALL of what I can. It doesn't have to be a big, HUGE undertaking. It can simply be my full attention to what He wants me to accomplish in His Name that day! May I take this example and apply it to my daily life!

1 Corinthians 10:31b
"....whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

I Don't Wanna Forget...

Gracie:

I don't wanna forget: how you call your little kiddie pool on my porch your "cool"

I don't wanna forget: How you come into my house every weekday morning and peek around from the mud room and throw me that adorable look where you try not to smile but can't help it and lunge for me

I don't wanna forget: How you tell me you're gonna put "Pooka's baby" in the swing and push her. You practice with your dolly and tell me "gent-y, right, Pooka? I do it gent-y?"

I don't wanna forget: How you see other little children at the library, the store, or park/beach that are not being very good listeners to their mommies and daddies and you whisper to me, "Pooka? Dat boy (or "geal") is being nauuuu-dee"

I don't wanna forget: How you call my name when you wake up from nap! It's so cute!

I don't wanna forget: How you love your "Brudder Seff". You love to hug him and kiss him when he's waking up from nap time.

I don't wanna forget: How your prayers before lunchtime take 5 minutes because you have to thank Jesus for every goldfishie and PB&J triangle on your plate. As well as every apple slice, your cup of water, your plate, schooltime, and Pooka's baby!



Seth:

I don't wanna forget: How you run to me at my rocking chair and say, "I wanna hold you"

I don't wanna forget: How serious you take checking on my belly every day. You feel around, stroke the bump and ask if Pooka's baby is "sleeeeeeeeeeping" and "when's she gonna be here? I wanna seeeeeeeee hers"

I don't wanna forget: How you love the book "Don't Ever Let Your Cat Make Lunch For You" and "the baby with his purple 'tray-on'", aka Harold and the Purple Crayon

I don't wanna forget: How you LOVE to organize things into patterns and straight lines. I still can't believe how neat you are and how concentrated you get when gluing things for a school project a certain way

I don't wanna forget: How you gave Gracie her nickname of "Drey" because Pooka started calling her "Gray" and you say your "G"'s with a "D" sound!

I don't wanna forget: How you pretend to keep sleeping after you wake up from nap. You make Gracie laugh so hard when you hide under the blanket and she can't see you!

I don't wanna forget: How much you LOVE to cook and bake! You drag me to the kitchen with the phrase, "Pooka, I wanna show you" and it usually involves getting the chocolate chips out to bake cookies or pulling your chair to the counter so you can reach up to the Kitchen Aid mixer and ask to "make some-pin yummy"


You two are my precious pride and joy! I love how much you love me! I love that you both call Anya, "Baby Ana" because you can't quite pronounce the "y" sound of her name! She is going to be so loved by you both and she is going to love you in return! Even though she won't be able to share your milk or sleep in your bed like you want her to, Seth, or swing super fast at the park like you want her to, Gray, (at least for a while!)she is going to love the time she has with you. I will not love either of you any less just because this baby came from my belly. All 3 of you are my babies and are unique in the most awesome ways!

I don't wanna forget: ONE SECOND OF ANYTHING!! GOD has given me this awesome time with you and I wanna bask in all of it!

More Answers

My dear friend, Dorothy, keeps reminding me that I have yet to answer more questions, from my post from over a year ago, about wondering what it is like to be expecting!

I can officially answer another 3 1/2 questions! =)

Q4. What's it like to walk into the OB/GYN for the first time knowing that your expecting? Do you chatter more excitedly with the nurses and receptionist?

A. Walking into my midwife's office for the very first time was nerve wracking. I had applied for Medicaid in May, as soon as I received the official confirmation from Solutions Pregnancy. This is something they require you to send them. By the end of June I had sent in all my paperwork and thought that perhaps I could see my midwife for prenatal care, paying out of pocket until Medicaid would kick in (sometime in July) and reimburse me. The first midwife office would not accept me unless I paid $600 up front, 10% of all prenatal care charges, and $3,000 for blood work. Speaking with the billing office trying to work something out I was simply told "why don't you go to Planned Parenthood"...talk about crying! I knew this was NOT who I wanted to treat my pregnancy and birth. My second midwife choice was nice enough, and had agreed to treat me for free until Medicaid kicked in, but once she saw my hypertension she wanted nothing to do with me. She recommended another midwife and I met with her in mid July and she was simply WONDERFUL! Her office allowed me to pay out of pocket until Medicaid kicked in, with no 10% down, or any other hoops to jump through! I met with the OB as well and he is such an AMAZING doctor! He LISTENED to me, looked me in the eye, called my daughter a "precious little one", and acted like we were old friends the moment we met! The LORD truly blessed me by leading me to this office and I am so thankful!...So to make a long story short, (too late), my REAL first visit, with my TRUE midwife and OB was VERY exciting and yes, I did chatter excitedly to the receptionists because they are SOOOO nice!!


Q.5. What's it like when the doctor says the "official" congratulations? Even though they, no doubt, say it multiple times a day, does it sound different when you're hearing it? As if they must truly mean it more because this will be the most perfect baby ever?

A. The "official" congrats actually came from the Solutions ultra sound tech. We had an amazing visit and seeing that tiny heartbeat was such a precious, beautiful sight! The "congratulations" did sound different to me because I had to keep reminding myself that she was talking to ME, not my friend, or my sister, but ME!!


6. What is it like to see that fuzzy, gray image up on that screen and to hear that tud, tud, tud of a small heartbeat? Do you cry? Do you smile ear to ear and have no words at that moment?


A. Seeing that fuzzy gray image was SO AWESOME!! I did cry the first time I saw her and I was smiling ear to ear as well! She was too tiny the first time we saw her to hear her heart beat, but last Monday as we were checked by Dr. G, I got to SEE her AND hear her heartbeat which was strong and healthy. There are no words to describe it! It was amazing!


7. What is it like to feel your baby kick the first time? Is is defined or does it feel like a gas bubble? hehe What is it like when you see your husband's face as he feels the baby move for the first time?


A. When I first felt Anya kick, I KNEW she had kicked me! It was Mon July 18th and I was laying on the couch during naptime. I was watching Ina Garten cook something delicious when all of the sudden there was this small, but very defined 'thump thump" on my protruding belly. I sat straight up and kinda stared down, knowing it was her kicking, but afraid to talk or walk in hopes that she would do it again for me! haha!It was so cool!! ... It is still too early for anyone to feel her on the outside, so part two of this question must wait for next time =)

Trampled and Forgotten

James and I attended a wedding yesterday. At the reception in the evening we were having a very nice time and enjoying good food. Over the course of the night the bride and groom did various traditions: First dance, father/daughter dance, Mother/son dance, cutting the cake, ect. One of my past favorites, I say "past" for obvious reasons, is the bouquet toss. There is nothing more amusing than watching a group of single women stand there with that hope in their eyes that they will be the one to catch the coveted flower arrangement!...as a side note, I did catch it once at my friend Shao Chen's wedding. I stand 5'10 and I was wearing 3 inch heels at the time and with a name like Shao Chen you know I was pretty much surrounded by not-as-tall Asian women, it was really no challenge...Anyway, there was the beautiful bride last night with her back turned to all the hopeful, single girls and on the DJ's countdown she let the bouquet fly. I believe it hit the ceiling or something because as it descended it was falling apart. Flowers kind of went flying and scattering everywhere and even more so when two of the ladies grabbed at pieces of it. In the end one girl stood victorious with most of what could be salvaged of the original piece. The staff of the reception hall very quickly swept the discarded flowers off of the dance floor before the dancing was reinstated.

...All but one...

It was pink. Beautiful. Perfectly formed. So pretty looking against the caramel colored dance floor. I was transfixed by it. It's petals swept closed in an almost shy modesty. I thought about picking it up, but I didn't want to move. It was so pretty right there towards the corner. No one noticed it, just me. There were close to 130 people in that reception hall. No one stopped to look, no one picked it up. It was discarded...The music started up again. This time instead of Frank Sinatra style music, more modern, what my Dad used to call "Boompity-boomp" music started. The bass shook my table. It started playing with my heartbeat (HATE THAT!) and all the while this rose lay there on the floor. But soon, as the crazy dancing ensued and people with too much to drink tripped past waitresses and flung themselves in every which way to the dance floor, it became crowded and before I knew it someone had danced by and in a moments time the beautiful pink rose had been trampled underfoot. They hadn't even noticed. This beautiful flower that had been raised from a seed, lovingly watered, carefully clipped, artfully arranged, had been DESTROYED...

As I stood to leave, I thought about that flower. I thought about how sometimes Jesus is like that rose. He's there, He's beautiful, He's peaceful, but unnoticed. He is forgotten amidst the trappings and parties of life....

Dear LORD Jesus, May I never forget You are present with me ALWAYS! May I never trample you underfoot as I run around in my busy life. May I stop to take notice of You at multiple points of EVERY day! You are so much more than a pretty rose! You are my Beautiful Savior and I LOVE YOU!!! ~Amen~

Run, Peep, Run! (A New Generation)

"Pook, if anything ever happens to me, you have to keep coming out here. This is a special place, a very special place..."

These are the words my Daddy said to me as we hiked our very last hike ever in Gettysburg, Sept 2003. Of course, I had no idea that he was sick or that it was our very last hike, but I believe that Dad knew. I remember raising my eyebrows and looking at him with a weird, twisted sort of face and saying, "Ummmm, Ok??? I guess??" I thought he was just being dramatic or something. I had no clue....

I was reminded this past weekend as we were out in Gettysburg. Reminded just by gazing at the lush green battlefields, that this is hallowed ground for reasons of my very own. My father walked these grounds. My father loved this land, the history of it and what it stands for! So many of my happiest childhood memories are wrapped around the 1.6 square miles of this tiny town. All the silly games we played out there. Can You See Me? at the PA Monument. March, Piggies, March at the High Water Mark. Chinese Fire Drill at the Lee Monument! So many funny, amazing, fantastic times with all of us!

When my father told me to keep going to Gettysburg when he was gone, he was not merely telling me to drive to a Pennsylvania town and look around. He was telling me to create happy memories. To be reminded of the good things I shared with my family and to make new memories, good memories with the ones that come after, with the ones that I love.

May 6, 2011. Peep took his/her very first trip to this special town. Peep had his/her very first picture taken on Run, Pook, Run!(a very special field named after Mommy, by Grandpa, in case you missed that post =) Peep will one day visit, on the outside of my tummy hehe, and walk the roads, battlefields, and paths that his/her awesome Grandpa did. Peep will learn to love what Grandpa did and what Mommy does. Peep will have happy, wonderful memories and fun times in this tiny town. Peep will know his/her Grandpa through this town. Peep will carry on a legacy!


"I love my father as the stars - he's a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart."

Hairy, Scary Monster!!!

As a prelude to my story, I must share about a cat that we had when I was about 14. Her name was, Tia, and she was an inside and outside cat. She had this terrible tendency to bring in birds that she killed. One time even bringing in a squirrel face...yes, that'll stick with you for life! Tia liked my bed a lot and one night I was sound asleep and a terrible thunderstorm woke me up. As I rolled from my left side to my back I landed in something goopy and wet. I remember thinking "oh great, Tia came in from the rain and got my bed soaked" until I felt around and my hand landed on a small thing. (Keep reading! It's soooo worth it!!!) It being pitch black in my room, I screamed on the top of my lungs and threw the object as hard as I could across the room and heard the thud as it hit the dresser and landed on the floor. Tia jumped from my bed as I stood up screaming and Sharon hit the light to see my back and bed covered in blood. Tia grabbed the object and pulled it under my bed and by this time almost the entire house was in my room and I'm hollering "dead squirrel" at my Dad. Daddy looks under the bed and laughs and peeks his head up and says, "Tia's having kittens under the bed!" What? Oh thank goodness it's just kittens and not...HOLY COW!! I THREW ONE ACROSS THE ROOM!!!...Fear not, it did not die (phew!) but everyone teased me and said that kitten never could walk a straight line for the rest of it's life! =) haha!

...Now onto last night! So here it is 3:14am and I'm soundly sleeping when Gracie lets off a shriek and scares me outta my life! I jump from the bed and race into her room. It's completely dark and I bend down to the lower bunk and peek my head in between the bed railing and the top bunk. I see her sitting up in her usual spot towards the back and I coaxed her over. "Come here, Gracie, lay down, it's OK, Pooka's here" She didn't budge. I felt for her blanket as my eyes adjusted slowly and I saw it on the floor by the opening at the end of her bed. I reached down for it and my hand closed around something hairy, warm and breathing. I jumped up as fast as I could and ran up the first two steps of Seth's top bunk ladder. I then began loudly hissing that Gracie come to me now! I could grab her if she came to the edge by the ladder and we could both climb up into Seth's bunk, pull in the ladder and sit there to be rescued. Gracie is not coming and this thing begins to move! I think it's a small raccoon or possum. I am panicked more and am pleaded for Gracie to "come here, NOW!! Pooka needs you!!!" This thing turns and moves towards me, I am freaking out now!! All of the sudden, it stops...stands up, reaches for me and says, "Pooka.".... OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hop down from the ladder (feeling like a totally idiot!) and scoop her up!!!! It was GRACIE!!! I had felt her crazy hair, part of her warm face and had thought it was an animal!! (I really must get her a haircut...) I knelt down and put her back in bed trying not to laugh as I looked over and saw with better adjusted eyes, just the bare white wall and blanket from Seth's bunk dangling down the back, and not in fact, Gracie sitting there! I grabbed the cover from the floor and covered her walking out of the room with a picture in my head of 5 people laughing HYSTERICALLY at me. June, Phil, Sharon, Donna and Suz! It was now 3:26am and as I laid back down I laughed into my pillow and thanked the good LORD that this happened now and not in Dec sometime, for I surely would've had the baby right there!!!!!

First Ultrasound!

Hi Little Peep!! It's me, your Mommy!
Daddy and I took you for a ride today. We went to Solutions Pregnancy and Health Center in Shrewsbury. Our appointment was at 10 o'clock. We walked in and the very nice ladies had Mommy fill out some paperwork and then we waited to be called. Miss Cynthia came and took Mommy to a back room where we talked about all of the things that are happening to Mommy's body while you grow and get strong.(I told Miss Cynthia how sick I have been and she smiled and teared up when I told her that all the sickness in the world is worth the honor of carrying YOU!)
We had to take another pregnancy test to make sure you were really there...Mommy knew, but Miss Cynthia needed to see for herself, it's her job...
After we saw the two pink lines on that test Miss Pat was ready to do the ultrasound! Miss Pam wanted to come in too. She loves to see little babies and I think it's her job to make a big deal about how tiny and precious unborn babies are. Mommy liked all three of these ladies and pretty soon after some latex and slippery goop in interesting places, YOU popped up onto the screen! There you were, my little miracle, Peep! So tiny and precious with a little bitty heart just pounding away a mile a min! I was so happy! There were happy tears slipping out but I barely noticed them because I was too busy smiling and watching you! Daddy was to, but I only looked at him once. I wanted to stare at you as long a possible! Miss Pat and Miss Pam had a good time laughing and talking with Daddy and I.

Do you know what Miss Pat, Miss Pam, and Miss Cynthia told Mommy? They told me they were so glad I came in because they were able to rejoice with a Mommy and a Daddy that love you and can't wait to meet you!! I have a lot of work to do to get Mommy's midwife lined up to help deliver you on or about Dec 19th. Aunt Dorothy and Aunt Paula are helping me, and I am so grateful! I can't wait until you meet them! You're gonna love them!
I'll see you soon!! Daddy and I love you!!

Love,
Mommy

Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

Peace Like A River

So here I am, just about 6 weeks pregnant and I have enter this fabulous world of "wow, I have REALLY gotta GO!!!!" It's a fascinating new world learning to "go" before I really HAVE to, thus eliminating the need to run as fast as I can for the nearest Ladies Room. My first Sunday at church yesterday taught me this brand new lesson. When Sunday School is finished at 10:45, I need to use the Ladies Room even if I don't really have to. If I don't I will inevitably have to charge out in the middle of the service like I had to yesterday! This is something that I do not like to do. I have also learned that there is no such thing as "holding it" for any length of time longer than, oh, say about 5 minutes! So there I was squirming in my pew crossing and uncrossing my legs not wanting to get up and disrupt the whole church because, come on, we ALL look at the people who get up during services. You can't NOT see them, it's very distracting. Hence the reason I always stay seated. So as I squirm around Jimmy asks me what's wrong and I whisper that I need to go. So he tells me to "just go". Easier said then done for a girl that was taught to sit still and pay attention during sermons. Finally, I could take it no longer and I hopped up from my seat so certain that EVERY eye was on me and they were all thinking, "there goes the pregnant lady, off to pee!" EMBARRASSING!!....

I made it to the ladies room in time and it felt soooooooooooooo good!!

So I return to my seat and settle in for the last 20 min of the sermon and lo and behold, here comes that wonderful urge again! OK, I can SOOOOO hold it this time. YES, Pastor is closing in prayer!! OK, pray FASTER!!...OK, now we're gonna sing our last song...Peace Like A River?? You've GOT to be kidding me!!! OK, I can survive, we only ever sing ONE verse of the last song anyway...wait! What did Steve Murphy just say? All THREE VERSES??? Now I'm singing about Peace like a RIVER, love like an OCEAN and joy like a FOUNTAIN!!!! At this point I know I will not make it to the downstairs ladies room, my only hope is to bolt to the FRONT of the church, charge through the conference room and use the single bathroom in the back. OK, the song is ending, relief is in sight...Why is Pastor coming back UP the aisle?? Oh great, another announcement...OK, Hurry Steve, close in prayer. Pastor FINALLY stops talking and I begin to run out of my pew and Steve is TALKING, NOT PRAYING! I stop dead in my tracks halfway out of my pew and cross my legs and bend over, praying that he prays soon!!! FINALLY, he bows his head and before the first sentence of his prayer is complete I am through the conference door and well on my way to that fabulous closet of a bathroom in the back! Thank you LORD, I made it in time!!

It's pretty funny now that I wrote about it! haha! Oh, Peep, I love you so much already and I hope one day you read this and laugh at your silly Mommy!! <3

...and Baby makes 3!!!!

I am expecting my first child!!!!!

I've waited my whole life to write that!! April 15, 2011 will forever remain in my heart and mind as a day when I saw an answer to a prayer that I have prayer for many, many, many, many years!!

August 1, 2010, I blogged about wanting to be a mommy. It was kind of a sad post as I poured my heart and soul out in writing. I cried as I wrote it, I cried as I proofread it and I cried as my friends read it. I haven't looked back at it since that day and I was elated to read it this morning! The best part was that I can now answer 3 of the 10 questions I asked. So here we go!!!


Q1.What is it like to look down after three min and see two pinks lines? What runs through your head? Does your heart skip an excited beat?

A. Well, here's what happened. I thought I had an ovarian cyst that was preventing my period from coming and so I woke up that morning and decided that I would try to find a natural herb or vitamin that would aid the cyst in dissipating. It was then that a little voice inside told me to just check to be sure I wasn't pregnant. I had one test (a Clear Blue digital) left and so I did was was required and laid the test on the bathroom counter and walked away. Gracie was awake and I was like 99.99999% sure that I wasn't pregnant and I was just doing this to be cautious before I took any kind of new herb. After we were dressed and headed downstairs to breakfast I remembered the test and thought I'd better grab it. I peeked my head around the corner and looked down at the test and there in all it's glory was the word PREGNANT!!...."OH MY GOODNESSS, THANK YOU!!!!" is what ran through my head! I thought I was dreaming and I walked out of the bathroom on shaky legs and fell next to the bed and pressed my head to the floor praising GOD and thanking Him over and over and over as I bawled my eyes out! Gracie sat on the bed quite amused at the scene. haha!....I'm not sure of my heart skipped a beat or not. It was so full of love and worship that I really am not sure if it was skipping or leaping!!

Q2. What's it like in those precious moments after seeing the pink lines? Do you look in the mirror and beam back at your gleaming eyes? Do you start thinking of how to tell your husband in the most perfect way?

A. Those precious moments are equal to nothing else I have ever felt in my ENTIRE life! Praising the LORD and thanking Him for the life inside of me is something I cannot explain, there are just not enough words!...I didn't look at myself in the mirror until later on and when I did, my eyes were indeed GLEAMING!...No, I did not start thinking of how to tell Jimmy in the most perfect way. I kinda just walked with the test in one hand and Gracie on my hip and walked into the bedroom where he was sleeping soundly and cried my eyes out over him saying, "James, James, I'm gonna have a baby! " hahahahahahahaa!

Q3. What is it like to see the faces of beloved friends and family when you tell them the news? Are the images of their widened eyes, and shrilling shrieks seared into your mind forever?

A. Paula and Steve were the first ones we told. They arrived at my house at 8am. (Paula to run with me, and Steve to have breakfast with Jimmy). I was holding Gracie and I turned to Paula and told her that I had talked with Jimmy and I wanted her to go somewhere with me. She later told me that she was wondering what kind of scheme I had come up with that Jimmy had agreed to! LOL! Anyway, so I said," It will be on or around December 16th" at which point she burst into tears and started jumping up and down and ran over and said, "Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!" and kissed and stroked my belly!! hahahahaha! that was the best ever! After lots of hugging and lots more hugging and lots of tears and lots more hugging the boys headed out for coffee and I texted Dorothy to see if she was up yet. She was!! (oh yes and it was her birthday so she thought I wanted to come walk with her for her birthday...PERFECT excuse!! haha! She didn't suspect a thing!) Dorothy was waiting outside as we pulled up and as Paula took Gracie out for me I hugged Dorothy and told her that Paula and I were going somewhere in Dec and we wanted to know if she would come with us. She immediately gasped and said, "DISNEY WORLD!!!" (This is our dream, that one day the 3 of us will be able to go to Disney World together when it's decorated for Christmas). I said "Noooooooo, it's on or around Dec 16th" and she stared at me quizzically and asked, "Where are you going?" and I replied, "into labor!" Her face went from questioning to ecstatic in like a nanosecond and she started screaming and jumping up and down!! LOL! It was quite a sight and very exciting, I'll never forget it! It is def seared into my mind and heart forever!
There are many other great stories about how I told others. Most of them thought I was playing a late April Fools joke! haha! Especially my baby sister, who was celebrating her 25th birthday!!! haha! What a wonderful day!

Extra Special moment: Realizing that on that very day, in 1986, my Mommy was so joyful and happy, having given birth to my sister, and 25 years later, I felt the joy and happiness of discovering my fist baby is on the way!


"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."(Psalm 37:4)

Quiz for Seth

The following is a cute idea that my friend had. Fill out a grown-up quiz but answer the questions for your kids.

Seth's Quiz

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Seth, son of Adam and Eve

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? at naptime because I had a cramp in my leg. Uncle Jimmy gave me Tylenol and Pooka rubbed it

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HAND WRITING? I am getting better every day and I especially like letter "J" because Pooka says, "dowwwwnnnnn and go whoop!" to make it!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I don't like lunch meat

5. DO YOU LIKE KIDS? yes,I love to play!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Only if I didn't take my own toys from myself...

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? I am too young to know what sarcasm is...

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Ya

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Pooka would never let me NEAR such a thing!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Oatmeal Squares

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope, I have zips!

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? the ice cream that Pooka surprises me with sometimes!!

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their toys

15. RED OR PINK? red, like my remote control car from Counsins Jon, Bailey and Brandt for Christmas that has been through 4 sets of batteries already!

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I'm three, therefore in my eyes, I'm perfect and all the world revolves around ME!

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? (shrugs)

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I'm in bed for naptime, I'm in naptime clothes

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? my dreams

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Why would I wanna be a crayon? crayons are for snapping in half and laughing!

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? chicken nuggets and chech-up!

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Jimmy. Pooka let's me call him on the intercom when he's in his office and she needs him downstairs for something

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Foosball at church!

27. HAIR COLOR? brown

28. EYE COLOR? dark, dark brown. The same color as my pupil, it's really neat!

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No

30. FAVORITE FOOD? chicken nuggets and chech-up

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I like Barney and Little Einsteins!

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Well, I tried to watch Beauty and the Beast in Pooka's van yesterday but for some reason the screen would not show the movie, we could only hear it. Pooka and Unca Jimmy can't figure out what's wrong!

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? I'm sleeping in naptime clothes, so it really doesn't matter!

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? I'm 3. As long as there is something to peak my interest, I'll take any weather!

35. HUGS OR KISSES? I like hugs when I wake up and kisses when I see Pooka in the morning when Daddy drops me off. But when Pooka kisses me other times I run away laughing and wipe them all off and she chases me!!

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Respond to what? My sad crying? Pooka or Unca Jimmy!

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? To what? my tantrums? Pooka!

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Pooka is reading a book about the Declaration of Independence and another one all about New Jersey. Sometimes I play with feathers while she reads. I'm only 3 and I am not going to remember all of what she reads but I liked when she talked about Patrick Henry's prayer, "Give me LIBERTY or give me DEATH"

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? a mouse pad? You mean where my ZuZu pet lives? He just lives in the toy box with Gracie's ZuZu pet.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? my shows

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? When Pooka says, "OK,you can get that" at the store

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I like rolling stones a lot!! Stones and rocks are really neat!! Beatles kinda scare me and I shriek like a girl 'cause it's a bug but I like to look at them if Unca Jimmy holds me

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? I went to Disney World last year!! YAY!!! I saw Mickey Mouse!! Pooka says we might go around Christmastime! I HOPE SO!!

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yes, I am 3 and cute!

46. WHERE WERE U BORN? St Peter's New Brunswick, NJ

Run, Pook, Run!

There is a special field in Gettysburg. It's on Cemetery Ridge along the Union line. It's right on Baltimore Pike and it's got a few cannon stationed on it. Since Cemetery Ridge was the high ground during the battle (thus gave the Union the advantage to win this very important battle), it's needless for me to tell you that it is somewhat of a hill. There is a small monument at the bottom of the hill that I am ashamed to say I cannot for the life of me think of who or what person/battalion it stands in memoriam to. However, it was my absolute favorite hill in all of Gettysburg. When I was little my Dad named it Run, Pook, Run because as soon as my feet hit the soft grass of that sacred ground, I would take off running, flying down the hill and back up again!! I remember this so well! When all of us Beanies would bounce along in our big blue van and head to Gettysburg the excitement was at full throttle and we couldn't WAIT to see that exit sign for Gettysburg/Baltimore Pike. We would cheer as we took the inclining exit ramp and Daddy would say, "....annnnnnd weeeeeeeee're HERE!", proclaiming "HERE" as loud as could be when we reached the top of the ramp! Oh what joy would fill my heart to hear that special phrase! 3 miles later we would see the Military Museum (Dad's favorite)up on the right and 2 fields in was RUN,POOK,RUN!! Daddy would pull the van to the shoulder and I would be the first one out! About 15-20 min later we would pile back into the van, all a flutter with excitement and bounce merrily once more down the road to our campground...

Daddy ALWAYS stopped there for me. It was tradition. He would stand at the top of the hill and holler, "Run, Pook, Run!"

And so, in 2011, I started to do just that. Running. Me, April Dynarski, a runner? No way, Jose!! I would have said that just 2 months ago! I literally could not make it even 1/8 of a mile around the high school track! It was impossible! That little girl (2nd fastest girl in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th grades!) and her ball of running energy was long gone! Or was she?

It all began about 1 month ago. After an epic fail of an attempt to run last Nov, I had injured myself and my chiropractor took me off all but walking (not that I was doing anything else). I had a severely injured back that required me to visit him 2-3 times a week. It was hopeless. I became very content with walking. Until the end of February that is. One afternoon, when my walking pal and best friend, Paula, wasn't able to join me, I headed out for my usual walk and found myself power walking. I prayed during that walk for Jesus to show me what i needed to do to boost my exercise and accomplish more. I covered 6.3 miles in 1 hour and 40 min! Pretty cool! It was so refreshing to push my body past just mozzey-along mode and it occurred to me that I might try running again...but only if Paula would do it with me! Always the supporter of my crazy ideas, and thinking she wanted to herself, we began running. What a hoot and a holler THAT was! We could literally make it halfway around the track (1/8th of a mile) and we would have to stop. Huffing, puffing, red-faced and spit flying out when we spoke! WHAT A SIGHT! Until the next week when she went out one morning that I couldn't make it and went around ONCE! Why, if she could do it, so could I!! And around I went the next morning! Holy Moly Makanoli! I'm a runner! I just ran 1/4 of a mile! Then came 2 days later....PAULA! We just ran 1/2 a mile!! Then it was the 1 mile mark! UNBELIEVABLE!! Then the unthinkable, TWO MILES!! STRAIGHT THROUGH!! Me, April, yes, 2 MILES!!! I was elated!! I had spent that Saturday morning running with worship music playing on my iPod. I ran, imagining that Jesus was right next to me. Cheering me on, telling me I could DO this! I sang in my head, prayed, laughed, and triumphantly gave my LORD the praise when I had finished! I was on top of the world that day!...Then my foot hurt...this was bad...it hurt for a WEEK!! OUCH!! I knew it, I wasn't cut out to be a runner!! Wait? What's that? Special running shoes? You mean my very stylish Nike walking shoes aren't for running? I'm an overpronator? What in the world is that?? Flat feet? Yes, yes I do have flat feet, why? Oh, that means I'm an overpronator...

(An overpronator does not absorb shock efficiently. Imagine someone jumping onto a diving board, but the board is so flimsy that when it is struck, it bends and allows the person to plunge straight down into the water instead of back into the air. Similarly, an overpronator's arches will collapse, or the ankles will roll inwards (or a combination of the two) as they cycle through the gait.)

A trip to Famous Footwear and a new pair of Saucony shoes for overpronators does the trick! I'm back out and running! THEN, that beautiful, wonderful, fantastic morning of Tuesday March 22, 2011, I achieved what I thought I never could! Arriving at the track at 6:37am, I, April Dynarski aka "Pook" ran 3.2 miles!!!!!! For those of you that don't know, that is the equivalent of 5k!! as in MARATHON!! As in, if I ran a 5k marathon, I would FINISH!!! WOW!! To GOD be the Glory and PRAISE!! This lazy, fat hunk of clay is being molded, slimmed and lovingly nurtured by Jesus and is learning that she can do amazing things in life! Why if I can run, what else can I accomplish in my life, especially for Jesus, that I am limiting myself in??

I can run physically with Jesus help and now I must press forward and run spiritually with Jesus help!!

1 Corinthians 9:24
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."

I have achieved what I thought was impossible!

Dear Gracie,

I love to hear your voice! Your laughter and your singing warms me like a pot belly stove on a cold, dreary, and snowy day! You laugh at anything that strikes your little fancy! Sometimes you'll laugh hysterically just because you caught me looking at you! I love this so much about you! You have such a pretty singing voice and you're not even 2 years old yet! You sing ALL THE TIME! You sing yourself and your brother to sleep and you always awaken first and sing your brother awake. This amuses him very much! I can hear you sing Itsy Bitsy Spider to him and when you add "BOO!" at the end I can hear him laugh around the fingers he's still sucking on! You love to sing Jesus Loves Me and last week when you wandered away from me in the library, Seth and I could hear you from the next aisle over singing it! We laughed and said "silly DeeDee!"
You are joy and sunshine in my life and I can't imagine the world without you! Thank you for being my lovey girl, "Groocie"

I love you, love you, love you!!!

Happy Birthday, Nora!

Three years ago today I witnessed for the very first time, the birth of a baby! Not my own, of course, but the birth of my best friend's precious little girl, Nora Francis.

Paula, our friend Holly, and myself had all planned to get pregnant around the same time. We thought it would be a smash being pregnant together and having kids very close in age! They waited until I was married to try, so it would be fair, and even joked about abstaining until my wedding night! LOL! Although it was not in GOD's sovereign will for me to conceive, Paula became pregnant in April 2007 and Holly in May. I was ecstatic!! It didn't matter that I had not conceived, two of my very great friends were having babies! Then I found out that Sharon, my sister, was with child and that added to the excitement mix!!

When Paula thought she might be pregnant (Mon night, May 28th) she told me she was going to wait until that Friday to get a test. Well, I was certainly NOT going to wait that long and I dragged her to Walgreens in Milltown where we purchased a digital Clear Blue test. She came home and I made her, well, fill a cup if you know what I mean. I then kicked her out and called her husband, Steve, into the bathroom with me to see the results. We followed the directions and laid the test on the flat counter top and watched that little hour glass icon for what seemed like HOURS!! Then I saw it in the millisecond it took to switch to the word PREGNANT and I leaped into the air and screamed on the top of my lungs, scaring the life out of poor Steve who didn't read it as fast as I did!! I went sailing past him as he stood there trying to comprehend what had just happened!! haha! Poor guy!! What a fabulous wonderful memorable night!

238 days later, Nora Francis arrived! With a head full of black hair and cute chubby cheeks, she was simply perfect! My Paula had asked me to be in the delivery room with her and I happily, joyously, excitedly said YES!!!!! It was a night that I will never forget! There is nothing disgusting or gross about a birth, it is all so beautiful and wonderful! Our Loving LORD gave such an amazing gift to the female race! I am so thankful for a friend (and my sister who gave birth to Seth 4 days later) for allowing me to share in the joy of childbirth!

Happy, Happy Birthday Nora Francis! I love you so very, very much!!!

10 Things I Love About My Seth!

1. He is such a helper! Whenever I need any kind of help, whether it's cleaning up or laying out snack he's always at my heels saying, "I help you, Pooka, I help"

2. He's got the best behind-me hugs. I can be seated on the floor and he'll come up behind me and wrap his arms around me neck and rub his cheek against mine...sooooo delicious!!

3. He's incredibly smart! To learn his geography he has named each country we learn with someone from his family. For instance, he says the USA is Daddy, Russia is Gracie, Brazil in Uncle Jimmy and Mexico is Pooka! He's named the few other ones as well but has reserved Antarctica for himself!

4. He loves to listen to stories and his favorite books are Goodnight Moon and Wibbly Pig. Wibbly Pig is a very cute pig who takes a long time to get ready for bed! Seth will walk up to me and say, "Wibbly Pig are you ready for bed? No, I'm taking a bath" and then burst into hysterical laughter!

5. He's very protective of "Dee Dee" his sister, Gracie. He always has to make sure that she isn't being left out of anything fun that's going on. Unless, of course, it involves her touching his play pots and food when he's trying to set up a "meal" for me!

6. He's got this hysterical laughter that is sooooo contagious. Last week in church he dropped a mint he was trying to hand Sarah, and we couldn't find it anywhere on the pew or my lap. He glanced down and saw it on the floor and burst into hysterical laughter right in the middle of announcements! Needless to say there were twitters of laughter all over the congregation!

7. He's such a big boy and can listen and obey Pooka in the store when he's out of the cart. I normally don't do this because I'm scared of someone hitting or knocking into him since he's so short, but today I needed the full back of the cart, so he walked and did a great job!

8. He loves to pray! Every day at lunch he folds his hands and closes his eyes, peeking just a little at times, and prays for our food. I love when I hear him say,"Opps, don't eat until we thank Jesus, DeeDee!"

9. He is a snuggle bug! Sometimes, even at crazy free-for-all playtime, the place he enjoys to be is right in my lap snuggle-snuggle-snugging and telling me a million and one things that he needs to say!

10. He is an amazing photographer! His most FAVORITE thing to do is take photos! Whenever I give him to OK, he takes my camera and secures the strap around his wrist and walks around taking photos of his school work, his toys, DeeDee &Pooka, and anything else that strikes his interest!! (The above photos are all his!)


I love you my Buddy!! You are such a ray of sunshine in your Pooka's life! I love every second that I get to spend with you! I love you, love you, love you!!

3's of Me

Three favorite pastimes:

1. reading biographies

2. planning parties and vacations

3. preparing lesson plans for my preschool babies!


Three names I go by

1. Babe, My love (James)

2. Pooka (Seth & Gracie)

3. Apey (pretty much everyone else)



Three jobs I have had in my life

1. QC Supervisor at a printing company

2. Teacher's assistant for 2 & 3's

3. Nanny



Three places I have lived

1. Chestnut St, South River

2. Gordon St, South River

3. Jackson St, South River



Three favorite drinks

1. water with fresh lemon

2. sparkling water with fresh lemon

3. ginger ale with fresh lime


Three favorite colors:

1. purple

2. dark blue

3. dark green



Three TV shows that I watch

1. Barney

2. Buffy

3. Duggar's



Three places I have been

1. Disney World, Orlando!!!!

2. Louisville, KY (for T4G, an AMAZING pastor/youth pastor's conference!!)

3. Raleigh, NC to visit my wonderful aunt and uncle!


Three phrases you would like to hear:

1. "Babe, Praise GOD, I got a job! I start Monday!" (from my husband)

2. "Congratulations, Mrs. Dynarski, you're expecting triplets!!" (from my doctor)

3. "We don't want our Disney Vacation Club anymore and it's all paid off, so would you like all our points?" (from anyone haha! =)


Three animals you would like to own:

1. a white horse

2. a brown horse

3. a black horse


Three places you'd like to live:

1. on a farm in PA

2. on a farm in VA

3. on a farm in West VA



People that call/text me regularly

1. Paula

2. Katie

3. Jessica


Three people that have made an impact in your life:

1. Jesus

2. James

3. Mama &Daddy (they are one =)



Three of my favorite foods

1. salmon

2. chicken Caesar salad

3. any soup from Olive Garden



Three favorite vacation spots:

1. DISNEY WORLD!!

2. Gettysburg, PA

3. down the shore!



Three things I am looking forward to:

1. All the time I get to spend with Seth and Gracie!

2. Our trip to Gettysburg with the Beisser's in May

3. T4G coming again in a little over a year!


Three things that you've accomplished in the last month:

1. I decluttered and simplified my ENTIRE house!! (I LOVE this!! It took about 30 hours all together!)

2. I have lost another 15 pounds bringing the total loss to 29 pounds since Oct!!! (this is the first time I've posted anything about my weight loss. I have kept a low profile because too many compliments are known to be a pride issue for me. I am trying to focus on getting healthy in obedience to the LORD, not so people will compliment me =) I praise GOD for this amazing accomplishment, it's ALL because of the strength He gives me!

3. I have cut my spending habits drastically! (another GREAT accomplishment for the girl who thinks if she wants it, she should just BUY it!)

3 Things The World Expects Me To Worry About

1. My husband being out of work for 18 months. The world would expect me to worry, but I don't! I mean, there are times when my heart twinges a bit and I think, "LORD, is one coming soon?" but then I remember that GOD is in control of ALL things! Even though I cannot see Jimmy's new job on a physical level, I know that GOD is preparing something so important for him to do! Jimmy's job is going to come at the perfect time and not a moment sooner! I claim Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

2. My inability to conceive. For as long as I remember I have wanted to be a mommy. Jimmy and I began trying for a child right off the bat and so far, nothing. The world expects me to be upset and to worry that I will never conceive, but I don't! The LORD is going to bring a child into my life in HIS own timing and according to HIS perfect will, not mine! I claim Psalms 37:4 " Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

3. The future. The world expects me to worry about the unseen. Things that are coming that I cannot foresee. Death, illness, injury, ect. I don't worry about these things. GOD will give me the grace to deal with each new day and any trials that might arise. GOD does not give grace for the "what-if"'s in life. He gives grace when you go THROUGH it! I claim Matthew 34:6 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

I serve an AWESOME LORD and He alone is my joy, salvation and steadfast Lover of my soul!

Thank You LORD that I do not need to worry about ANYTHING in life. Thank You that I have an opportunity today to share Your perfect peace with someone who doesn't know!

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep him in perfect peace,Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. "

I'm back!

Oh my goodness, it has been soooo long since I blogged! Life seemed to have caught up with me after our trip to Disney World in September, and I don't think I've blogged since then! One of these days I will give you a rundown of our fantastical time in the wonderful world of Disney imagination! For now, I'd like to give you a quick recap of the time that has spanned since I last blogged.

Oct: I felt led of the LORD to leave my current positions and stay home to care for my niece and nephew. It was an emotional time speaking with each of the families and preparing them for my departure a mere 8 weeks from then. I had been with each family for a number of years and the children and I had developed a deep, loving relationship!

Nov: Thanksgiving was quiet and nice! The day was spent at my sister June's house where we laughed, ate, laughed, ate more and played lots of games! It was also very sad, as it was my first Thanksgiving EVER that my younger sister, Donna May, was not with us. Since she moved to Baton Rouge last July, I have not seen her ={..(and for the record, in case you're wondering, my Mama was pregnant with her on my first Thanksgiving, so this was indeed my very first Thanksgiving without her!)

Dec: This was a bittersweet month. I had to leave the children I had been with for over 5 years but I was given the awesome responsibility of caring for Seth and Gracie! Christmas was amazing, however, Seth did has a stomach virus that morning (poor boy!) and he couldn't sit up for very long, but watched quietly from the couch as his sister ripped into all of her gifts! James and i rang in the new year with great friends and a thankful prayer to the LORD for all that He provided in 2010!

...and here we are, JANUARY!

We have just entered our second week of preschool homeschool and it has been going swimmingly! Last week's highlights are:

Letter "A": We colored, sang about, and play-doh shaped this fantastic letter!

Number "1": We counted things around the room, colored a number "1" and sang a silly song about a number "1" who played the accordion!

Color RED: We grabbed our pointers and walked around the room pointing to anything RED that we could find. We colored with RED crayons and RED markers! We also got up to our elbows in RED finger paint (fun fun!)

Shape CIRCLE: We completed a worksheet where we put a big black "X" through any shape that was a CIRCLE! We also looked around and found some of our favorite things to play with are CIRCLES. Like all our balls (except our football of course!) our pretend cookies, our pretend pizza and all the pizza toppings, our play oranges, and even the cymbals in our musical instruments bag!

Geography: Seth can point out the USA, Canada, Mexico, Russia, Antarctica and Brazil! Gracie can point out USA and Canada...oh yes, and the compass because she LOVES it! She thinks it's a sun! LOL!

Bible Story time: GOD created the day and night. We put the sleeping doggie sticker with the sleeping boy, and the running doggie sticker with the boy that was playing! We also played a new favorite game where we line up three small pillows on the floor on one side of our schoolroom and our play kitchen stands at the other side with three play eggs waiting on a plate. We sit together and say, "GOD made the day, so I can play. GOD made the night, so I sleep tight!" Then one of us will say "nightime" and we run over and lay on a pillow and pretend to snore. Then someone says "daytime" and we jump up and run to "eat" our eggs! Back and forth, over and over! This was a fun game that produced a TON of laughter...(that pure, unadulterated laughter of precious children! It was wonderful!)

What an awesome week we had! There is so much more to share, like our library trip, our new favorite book that we borrowed called "Farmyard Lullaby", our daily calendar & what's the weather chart, our marching music class, and special story times but nap time is winding up so I must prepare snack. Today's snack is crispy Gala apples and vanilla yogurt!

Until next time!